School's Out

Did you hear the one about the student who dreamed one night he had to take the ACT college entrance exam? But in the dream he didn't know where to go -- he couldn't remember the name of the school or where it was.

No? Well, you can read all about it in the Lake County Gazette:

School announces ACT and Pre-ACT testing schedule

Starting tomorrow, Tuesday, April 15th, students will begin either ACT or Pre-ACT testing. Students will follow the schedule below:

- Tuesday, April 15th: Juniors will take the online version of the ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM and dismissal is at 1 PM.

- Wednesday, April 16th: Sophomores will take the online version of the Pre-ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM with dismissal at 12:00 PM.

- Thursday, April 17th: Freshmen will take the online version of the Pre-ACT. Testing begins at 8 AM with dismissal at 12:00 PM.

Students will not attend on days they are not testing. Late arrivals cannot be admitted to testing; therefore, timely arrival is essential. Morning buses will run on their regular schedules. Students need to bring a charged Chromebook, calculator, and pencil on their test day. Those with alternative schedules due to accommodations have already been notified. Grab-and-go lunches are available each day.

For the record, the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's most dependable fakenews source. Its content is always imported, fresh and direct from Russian troll farms.

This has been confirmed by one GOP insider who told your LakeCountyEye: "Save yourself $100 and have your kid to skip the ACT Test. Once Trump defunds all of the universities, there won't be any 4-year colleges left anywhere in the country."

Viking Park Community Meeting

Viking Park Community Meeting

The Unidentified Lending Library

Of the public libraries in Lake County, not one can hold a candle to the Unidentified Lending Library. The Unidentified Lending Library of Lake County has no name. It has no address. It has books, and all were ghosted.

HaHa, readers of this blog first encountered the Unidentified Lending Library in the pages of the Lake County Gazette:

You Know My Name (Look Up the ISBN)

And the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) now has more riveting news to report on the state of the Unidentified Lending Library:

Library transitions to new book vendor

The library has announced a transition to a new book vendor, aiming to streamline the ordering process and ensure quicker and more reliable arrival of new materials.

The library expressed gratitude towards its community for their patience during this transitional phase. "We appreciate the patience and understanding of our community as we make this change," said the library's statement.

The new vendor is expected to improve service delivery significantly. "Thank you for your continued support as we work to enhance our services," the statement added.

Patrons experiencing delays or having questions are encouraged to contact the library for assistance.

For the record, the Lake County Gazette imports its content direct from Russian bot farms. And the facts all speak for themselves!

I Got the Tariff

So a guy walked into a Tesla dealer. The salesman showed him some cars but the guy was skeptical. He didn't believe a car could run on battery power alone. The salesman asked if he would like to see a demonstration. The guy said OK. So then five thousand people waving signs show up.

HaHa, five thousand people demonstrated in Gurnee last week:

Thousands of people lined three busy blocks in Gurnee holding signs protesting President Donald Trump's newly imposed tariffs, spending cuts and firings by Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE).
Thousands rally in Gurnee against President Donald Trump, Elon Musk and more: 'I just don't know where the economy is going'

The Lake County GOP was not amused. Their Chairman had this to say on behalf of President Trump:

Keith Brin, the chair of the Lake County Republican Central Committee, said Sunday that Trump's actions since his Jan. 20 inauguration are part of his effort to fulfill campaign promises. They are being done by a man who got the most votes for president, he pointed out. "None of this should be a surprise to anybody," Brin said. "I think these are the same people who will never accept him as a legitimate president, and never agree with him no matter what he does. They are continuing to stoke the fire in these protests."
Thousands rally in Gurnee against President Donald Trump, Elon Musk and more: 'I just don't know where the economy is going'

Soon after, a White House spokesman read a clarification statement: "If you think we're pounding the crazy, now, you ain't seen nothing yet."

You Know My Name (Look Up the ISBN)

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenew source:

The Lake County Gazette imports its content direct from Russian bot farms, and duty-free. So you know it is fresh -- fresh out of ideas:

Library Board seeks new trustee to guide future initiatives

The Library Board is seeking a new Trustee to help guide the Library, engage in strategic discussions, and shape its future.

The Library serves as a vibrant community center dedicated to enhancing knowledge, fostering civic engagement, and expanding access to resources. The Board upholds core values such as accountability, accessibility, intellectual freedom, and diversity.

"As a Trustee, you'll help guide the Library, engage in strategic discussions, and shape its future," said the invitation.

If committed to these principles and interested in making a difference in the community, individuals are encouraged to apply.

Interested applicants should submit a resume and responses to specified questions. To apply or obtain more information, contact the Board.

Application Deadline: April 13, 2025.

A spokesman for P.T. Barnum told your LakeCountyEye: "I don't care what the newspapers say about me as long as they spell my name right."

Community Meeting for Hunt Club Park’s New Playground

Gurnee Park District to host community meeting for Hunt Club Park’s NEW Playground