Mob FOIA

With 2024 soon to be a thing of the past, your year-end challenge this time is a word-ladder. Can you turn FOIA into SPAM in fewer than 6 steps?

FOIA
FOIL
FOAL
FOAM
FLAM
SLAM
SPAM

The Lake County Gazette did it in 25 steps. They spammed no fewer than 25 Lake Count Police Departments with FOIA requests:

Here is what they said:

A Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request was sent to the [redacted] Police Department in Illinois on December 12, 2024. The request was made by the Lake County Gazette, a media organization committed to providing comprehensive and accurate news coverage on local governmental affairs. In our quest for transparency and accountability, we sought access to arrest records from January 1, 2018, up until the present date. The requested data fields include the arrestee's name, arrest date, gender, race, date of birth, and the crime committed.

We also highlighted our eligibility for a fee waiver as a media professional due to our role in disseminating information.

Why burden Police Departments with nuisance FOIAs, when most police blotters are already posted on the web? Because the Lake County Gazette.

Note to Ops: A public body can deny a FOIA request if it is "unduly burdensome". It is not for nothing the Lake County Gazette will always be Lake County's #1 fakenews source!

Feliz Navidad

The war against Christmas has ended -- and Christmas lost. On Jan 20 Donald Trump will deport Santa Claus back to the North Pole and you will have to pay an additional 50% tariff on your Christmas gifts.

Ho, Ho, ... Wha? If the Mexicans are all being sent back to Mexico, then where is Lake County moneybags (and Trump donor) Richard Uihlein going to get Mexican laborers for his Wisconsin warehouses? Well, according to The Guardian, from Mexico:

A company owned by two of Donald Trump's top mega-donors has routinely brought dozens of its workers from Mexico to staff its warehouses in Wisconsin and other locations even though they do not appear to have permission to work in the US, according to a Guardian investigation. Uline – a giant Wisconsin-based office and shipping supply company controlled by billionaires Liz and Dick Uihlein – shuttles in its own workers from Mexico, who are using tourist visas and visas meant for employees who are entering the US temporarily to receive professional training, known as B1 visas. But instead of being part of a dedicated training program, the Mexican employees stay for one to six months and – sources with direct knowledge of the matter allege – perform normal work in Uline's US warehouses.
Major Trump donors who complained of immigrant 'invasion' used Mexican workers illegally, sources allege
Exclusive: Experts believe the alleged 'shuttle support' program used by Uline – a company owned by billionaires Liz and Dick Uihlein – is likely illegal and exploitative of workers

The Lake County GOP issued a statement demanding the immediate erection of a border wall. Not to be outdone, the Wisconsin GOP issued a statement offering their complete support, provided the wall does not extend anywhere beyond the Wisconsin border.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Frosty Fest

Frosty Fest

Out on the Lawn there Arose a Clatter

A not so subtle reminder that Dec 25 is fast approaching, the question-of-the-day will test your knowledge of Santa's gift shop:

Q: Why do Santa's elves use red tape?

A: To keep their pants from falling down.

HaHa. Coincidentally, red tape is why Santa's cargo carrier will not be landing at the Waukegan Airport on Christmas. The Waukegan Airport wants to get its hands on Lake County Forest Preserve land to build a new 7000 ft runway. But so far its hands are tied. They blame it all on FAA "red tape":

The Waukegan National Airport's project to build a new runway in the northern part of the city remains as unresolved this December as it did last December because it cannot move forward until the FAA issues the draft environmental assessment and a public hearing occurs.
Waukegan airport runway project remains in limbo; 'There is just unbelievable red tape'

Coincidentally, red tape is how forest preserve trees will be flagged ...

... for being chopping down. By the Waukegan Airport. So the plutocrats can land their jumbo-jets there.

The end.

Out of Tinley Air

An actual unretouched screenshot of the lead story from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

What's a Tinley Park? Nobody knows.

To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked the man-in-the-street:

"The bourbon capital of the World."

Pete Hegseth, Malingerer

"That's where I go to get my truss adjusted."

Kash Patel, Haitian Immigrant

 

"I don't know, maybe one of those made-up towns from The Onion?"

Tulsi Gabbard, Unemployed Suburban Mom

 

Your LakeCountyEye has a feeling you're not in Lake County any more.

Oh For Pete's Sake

The question of the day will test your knowledge of current events.

Q: Pete Hegseth has not yet withdrawn his nomination for US Defense Secretary. How much alcohol does Hegseth consume in a day?

A: One hogshead.

HaHa.

After Pete Hegseth becomes Secretary of Defense the Army is expected to announce a new class of armored fighting vehicle: Drunk Tanks

Hegseth would be uniquely positioned to manage the Pentagon. Compared to a typical office building, the Pentagon has more corners to pee in.

After his confirmation. Hegseth will visit the Great Lakes Naval Station. He will ask the Admiral about the size of the sailor's daily rum ration. The Admiral will say "Mr Secretary, there hasn't been a rum ration since before 1863." Hegseth will say "OK, I can come back then."

US soldiers may be deployed to enforce the mass deportations that Donald Trump has promised. Lake County could be a target:

Column: The unknown about Trump’s plans rapidly coming into focus

Pete Hegseth is all on-board with the idea: "We can buy everyone a bottle of tequila to keep them happy. Calm down, I'm talking about the soldiers."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Bottoms up.

Doobious Achievements

The year-end holiday slog is now on the final stretch, a time traditionally celebrated in verse:

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

Sugar-Plums must have been a brand name for cannabis gummies, back then? Something has to explain all the hallucinations:

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

In related news, the Village of Mundelein.

Did you know that Mundelein was the first local municipality to host a medical cannabis dispensary after they became legal? And that Mundelein hosts an annual outdoor cannabis festival? Read about it in the Daily Herald:

Could a second pot dispensary be headed to Mundelein?

Operatives are asked to make up their own joke here.