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Holiday Lights

The War of the Roses

Fed up with the deep state bossing you around? Don't secede from the State of Illinois. Relocate instead to Barrington Hills -- a Libertarian's paradise, at least according to the Village website:

A community low in legislation and high in property rights, Barrington Hills residents can indulge their passions and interests at home.
Barrington Hills is a Community Where Landowners Determine How They Enjoy Their Land

Barrington Hills is also the only local Chicagoland community where a resident can apply to build a shooting range or a sporting clays course on their own property.
Large Properties Create Endless Possibilities

Barrington Hills is clearly that low-in-legislation, high-in-property-rights kind of place where your passions can run wild.  Is your passion a shooting range? Then build a shooting range. Is your passion a pick-your-own flower farm? Then build a pick-your-own flower farm.

HaHa, j/k.

If you build a pick-your-own flower farm in Barrington Hills, the Village will serve you with a cease-and-desist order:

Little Ducky Flower Farm might have become too big for its own good. Its online popularity recently caught the attention of Barrington Hills officials and some residents who demanded the pick-your-own flower operation be shut down. Barrington Hills residents Chris Yamamoto and his wife Sarah Gul are fighting to maintain the farm's operations and contend they merely want to engage with the community and share their passion for flowers and agriculture. However, they are encountering resistance from village officials, the zoning board of appeals and some residents who argue the commercial operation compromises the village's residential character. In May, the village ordered the farm to cease operations
Barrington Hills couple faces uphill battle to keep flower farm open to public

One neighborhood watchdog told your LakeCountyEye: "That's not going to fly in Barrington Hills, unless you give your visitors a firearm and then call it a shoot-your-own flower farm."

When Comedy was King

Provided there is such a thing, your LakeCountyEye's eyeteeth were cut on the Saturday morning cartoons. Who amongst you wasn't glued to the set early every weekend, laughing at the outrageous antics of your favorite cartoon buffoons?

The cartoon buffoon, like the animated cartoon, is an only-in-America invention. He has been in circulation since from back when a five cent exploding cigar cost only a nickel.

To celebrate the cartoon buffoon, your LakeCountyEye has tracked his evolutionary history:

Wellington J Wimpy


Elmer J Fudd


Bullwinkle J Moose


Homer J Simpson


Stimpson J Cat


Sheldon J Plankton


Donald J Trump

Now, that's entertainment!

The Profit is Not Honored in its Own County

All those FEMA conspiracy theories are true! The red hurricane tsunami of 2024 flushed a boatload of Lake County Republican candidates into office -- and it was fueled by dollars from Lake County moneybags, Richard Uihlein.

HaHa, j/k. Every Lake County incumbent was re-elected. And all that Uihlein cash went south into DuPage County:

Doug Truax has nurtured small, politically conservative groups based in west suburban Downers Grove into a sprawling empire of organizations pushing far right agendas and election denialism — buoyed by contributions of more than $150 million from Illinois' Richard Uihlein, one of the country's biggest Republican donors.
Powerful suburban Chicago political operation fueled by Uihlein money spends millions on far right causes

Was any of that money spent on Lake County Republican candidates? Nobody knows. One thing is certain, if any Uihlein greenbacks found their way into the pocket of a Lake County GOP candidate, it didn't help. And if, on the other hand, Uihlein stiffed all his home-team candidates, they can take heart knowing that the money was spent somewhere else where it might do some good.

Note to Ops: 2026 is only 2 years from now.

E Pluribus Doom

With the big election in the rear view mirror, everybody suddenly finds themselves with nothing to do. Fret not, this is your perfect opportunity to sign up for the new LakeCountyEye MasterClass™.

This LakeCountyEye MasterClass™ will show you how to draw in the style of the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ ...

First retrieve an old copy of MAD Magazine from your vault.

Open the hilarious MAD Fold-In page:

Then fold it in:

And voila, you have for yourself an instant Creepy Tribune Cartoonist drawing:

Still Here

Fun fact: Ben Franklin thought the national bird should be a turkey. Franklin was clearly 250 years ahead of his time.

Who's Next?

There is only one or two hundred million dollars left between now and election day. And the one question on everyone's lips is: "Who will accurately predict who will win the presidential election?"

Prognostication, to be sure, is as much an art as a science. A good oracle will know all the polls, and have their finger on the pulse of the voters, and will be plugged into the Zeitgeist.

All of which explains why your LakeCountyEye asked the A.I. chatbot for the answers instead.

You won't have to stay up late, waiting for election results on Tuesday night. The chatbot has generated a deepfake video that anyone can watch right now:

FRAUD AT POLLS

Note to Ops: Rosebud.