Creative License

Are you suffering from memory loss, poor coordination, attention deficiency? Well, the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation has your back. Hey, all you cannabis dispensary owners, it's high time you got around to renewing your licenses. The details are in the Lake County Gazette:

Sharpeyed operatives will recognize the picture of backbench Lake County State Rep Martin McLaughlin. McLaughlin is not mentioned anywhere in the Lake County Gazette story. And while he most likely does not have a license to sell cannabis, Martin McLaughlin does have the look of a Donald Trump Vice Presidential running mate -- aka a license to steal. A license to steal the hearts of all the childless cat ladies!

Chicago Tribute Band

Sounds of Summer – Chicago Tribute Band

The Rich are Different from You and Me

Dust off your slide rules, today's pop quiz will test your math skills.

Q: A billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you're talking what?

A: Two billion.

HaHa, honorary Lake County Republican and US Rep Darin LaHood said this somewhere, to someone:

"If Governor Pritzker didn't have a billion dollars, he wouldn't be in office right now."
Illinois GOP delegation confident of Trump win

He was then asked: If Donald Trump didn't have a billion dollars, would he be running for office right now? Then someone, somewhere else said: "You're pushing a false equivalency. That grifter Trump doesn't have even two nickels to call his own."

The Jabberwocky in Milwaukee

That giant sucking sound you heard came from all of the Lake County Trump delegates going north over border. The GOP national convention this year is in Milwaukee, that horrible city^®.

Lake County GOP favorite son Mark Shaw said:

"as (former President) Ronald Reagan asked, we'll say, 'Are you better off than you were four years ago?'"
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

Then Lake County GOP favorite son Craig Wilcox said:

"Most people know they were in a much better place 3½ years ago than they are today."
Lake County delegates looking forward to again nominating Trump at GOP convention

In related news: Are you experiencing brain-fog? That may be a symptom of Long COVID. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat old predictable slogans.

More Guns

When is the next Lake County gun raffle? August 8, which is just around the corner:

"Do your part to help preserve your Second Amendment Rights."

Taylor Dance Party

Sounds of Summer – Taylor Dance Party

Trouble Tickets

The Lake County Gazette says to read the fine print on your concert tickets, they could be fakes:

The press release is from IL Attorney General Kwame Raoul, and ordinarily that's his photo beneath the headline. However, sharpeyed operatives may actually recognize backbench State Representative Martin McLaughlin.

What gives? Is Martin McLaughlin a ticket scalper? If so, he is not wearing his trenchcoat in the picture. With ticket stubs pinned to the lining. In fact there is no mention of McLaughlin in the article. Or anyone named Martin, for that matter.

No, it is quite likely that Martin McLaughlin has never scalped a ticket in his life. More likely the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 gift to comedy) has sold you another bill of goods.

The Bombs Bursting in Air

Question of the day:  In Canada, when is the Fourth of July?

Answer: The First of July.

Lake County will not be watching any fireworks on Canadian Independence Day. The Canadian National exploding bomb train derailed in Matteson:

A train derailed in at an Illinois village on Thursday, promoting an investigation and temporary evacuations in the area. According to local news, the incident happened in Matteson, about 30 miles from Chicago, and involved a train from the Canadian National Railway Company.
Train derails at Illinois village; resident evacuation lifted

One self-described industry watchdog said: "The bomb trains should be operating again by the Fourth. Bring the kiddos!"