If it's Saturday this must be Tbilisi

Note to Ops: A secret is only as good as the government that protects it.

As readers of this blog are aware ...

Out of Sight Out of Mind

Representative Peter Roskam is on an overseas junket spy mission -- whereabouts top-secret and unknown.

Your LakeCountyEye can now report that Roskam has been seen in Georgia -- and not Georgia aka the Peach State. Vestigial Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam is in Georgia, aka საქართველო.

Russian hackers have sent your LakeCountyEye the exclusive smoking-gun video:

US Congressmen:
"We have great admiration for the progress being made in Georgia"

Being overseas, Roskam here is shown answering questions from his constituents during an impromptu telephone town-hall. Since the phones don't work in Tbilisi, however, the meeting devolved into a bunch of apparatchiks giving speeches at a podium.

Roskam can be seen standing, in the Brooks Brothers grey suit.

Out of Sight Out of Mind

I met a man at a free town-hall,
Who was not Peter Roskam at all.
I asked him whether if he knew,
Neither was I Peter Roskam, too.
Roskamisgone

Haha, anyone hoping to see Congressman Peter Roskam any time soon has their work cut out for them. According to the Patch ...

Congressman Peter Roskam is on a House Democracy Partnership trip abroad this week while some of his constituents were hoping to meet with him.
Rep. Peter Roskam On Trip Promoting Democracy Abroad While Constituents Seek Meetings At Home

Roskam's trip is under press embargo; the whereabouts of the vestigial Lake County Congressman are top-secret:

The delegation is traveling with the military and their security protocols do not allow for the for public disclosure of their travel plans until they have returned.
Rep. Peter Roskam On Trip Promoting Democracy Abroad While Constituents Seek Meetings At Home

Roskam is traveling as the Chair of the House Democracy Partnership:

The mission of the House Democracy Partnership is to promote responsive, effective government and strengthen democratic institutions by assisting legislatures in emerging democracies. Central to our work is peer-to-peer cooperation to build technical expertise in partner legislatures that will enhance accountability, transparency, legislative independence, access to information, and government oversight.
Mission : House Democracy Partnership

One high ranking spokesman said: "The purpose of the trip is to expose overseas governments to our democratic ideals. For instance, Congressman Roskam has been schooling foreign legislators on the art of avoiding the voters. As the case may be, by scheduling for yourself plenty of overseas junkets."

Note to Ops: Button those lips!

Where's Colombo?

Note to Peter Roskam campaign operatives: If it's Tuesday this must be Ceylon.

Voters hoping to get in touch with their Representative in Congress, Peter Roskam, need to search no longer. Roskam, the vestigial Lake County Congressman, is on a tour of Capitol cities -- next stop Colombo.

But before you purchase that Greyhound bus ticket, the Colombo in question is not the Capitol of the Buckeye state. No, this Colombo is the Capitol of Sri Lanka. Which is quite different indeed.

According to the ColomboPage, a Sri Lankan (English-language) news site:

A bipartisan delegation from the United States House of Representatives visiting Sri Lanka paid a courtesy call on President Maithripala Sirisena on Tuesday at the Presidential Secretariat. The delegation to Sri Lanka as part of the House Democracy Partnership (HDP) is led by HDP Chairman, Congressman Peter Roskam (Republican-Illinois)
Representatives of US Congress laud Sri Lanka's transformative process

Roskam's overseas outing included a stop in Kosovo earlier this week, where he met the Prime Minister and other officials.  One spokesman for the Congressman said: "Peter Roskam wants to talk to all of his constituents. Just send your name, your formal title, and country where you are currently head of state. We'll do the rest."

Here Peter Roskam is seen chatting with one voter, (Sri Lanka) President Maithripala Sirisena:

Roskam is seated on the left.

Way Down in Kosovo

If most bullying happens during recess.  And if Congress is in recess all this week. Then will Congressman Peter Roskam use this recess to take up the bully pulpit at a townhall meeting with his constituents?

Haha, most Representatives take advantage of these recesses to return to their Districts and talk to their voters. But it should be no surprise that vestigial Lake County Congressman Peter Roskam will not be like most Representatives. Unless his District is on the Balkan Peninsula. And his voters speak Serbian. According to the Daily Herald ...

A bipartisan delegation from the U.S. House of Representatives is visiting Kosovo to reiterate the strong support for the nation. In its two-day visit, the delegation led by Republican Peter Roskam will meet Kosovo's prime minister, Assembly (parliament) speaker, lawmakers and civil society.
US Congress delegation in Kosovo to show bipartisan support

A spokesman said that if any of his constituents would like to talk to Peter Roskam, the Congressman will be at the Priština Starbucks, Thursday, 3:00 to 3:15 pm. (Roskam will be wearing the American flag lapel-pin.)

Members of the press are not invited.

The 2017 Doomsday Clock: Why the Time Matters

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Rachel Bronson, Executive Director and Publisher of the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists will discuss how issues of nuclear arms, energy, and climate change impact the stability and future of countries around the globe. She will make her presentation, The 2017 Doomsday Clock: Why the Time Matters. The Doomsday Clock, first introduced by the Bulletin 70 years ago, is an iconic graphic that warns the public about how close we are to destroying our world with dangerous technologies of our own making.

• Sunday
  February 26, 2017
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
  No Charge for Students

Referendee and Referendum

Historians cite a couple of facts about this well-known saying ...

The two things you don't want to watch being made are laws and sausages.

They will tell you that the sausages in question are links. And if anyone had ever said it, he was not Aaron Lawlor. That's because the Lake County Board passed a law (sponsored by Board Chair Lawlor), to change a law currently working its way through Springfield that would change how the Lake County Board Chairman is selected:

Lawlor's proposed amendment could ask voters in 2018 if they want to change how the chairman is chosen, as well as if the board should shrink and redraw boundaries using a nonpartisan system.
Lake County Board supports plan to ask voters if they want to pick chairman

Confused? Rather than try to work it out with a pencil, your LakeCountyEye looked up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Enigmatology Professor at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, Aaron Lawlor is as mad as an old wet hen." chuckled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They want to pass a bill in Springfield that will force Lawlor to campaign if he wants to be the Lake County Chair any more."

Your LakeCountyEye did not follow. Then why does Lawlor want a ballot referendum that will ask the voters if they want to elect their County Chair?

"Are you familiar with the Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi three stages of Lokal Realpolitik?"

Stage 1: Your idea is crazy.
Stage 2: OK your idea may not be crazy, but it will be more trouble than it's worth.
Stage 3: Great idea! Glad I thought of it.

"When the unthinkable becomes a political reality" continued Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "the way out is to claim it was your idea all along. Lawlor's referendum is a message to the voters that when they get to vote for their County Board Chair, be sure to vote for the person who made that possible: Aaron Lawlor"

Then why is Lawlor also asking for a second referendum, to reduce the County Board from 21 to 17 members?

"To cut back on budget expenses?" deadpanned Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye was all like: Haha, you're too funny.

"Haha. Haha." snorted Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I cracked myself up with that one. Board member salaries aren't even a decimal point out of the total County budget. But voters don't know that. They just love to vote for these free-lunch referendums. Look at how many of them voted for the Route 53 Referendum in 2009."

But what is the payoff behind reducing the Board to 17 members?

"If you reduce the size of the Board" sighed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "you increase your chances to get re-elected."

How so?

"What every incumbent fears" confided Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "is someone unknown to you, walking your district, knocking on every door, talking to your voters, stealing your election. But if you make your district big enough, then you make it impossible for that opponent to talk to all your voters. And you never have to worry about ever campaigning again."

Your LakeCountyEye was chagrinned. Then why not reduce the County Board to 15 or maybe even 11 districts?"

"Don't tell anyone" whispered Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "but there is a plan in the works to reduce the County Board to one district."

Too much crazy. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives that if they like the idea of President-for-Life Donald Trump, then they will love County-Board-Chairman-for-Life Aaron Lawlor!"

A Plugged Nick

Donald Trump may have been on more covers of Time than everyone else in the world -- combined. But Nick Sauer has been on more covers of the Barrington Country Magazine:

Mr. Sauer
Goes to Springfield

Haha. (Lake County incipient State Representative) Nick Sauer's cover photo caught the eye of the CapitolFaxBlog last week, who quickly responded with (what else?) a ...

Caption contest!

The CapitolFaxBlog attracts some of the highest rankin' prankers in the Land'o'Lancoln. And, long story short, your LakeCountyEye found ten captions that were at the very least good-enough:

The 10 Funniest Nick Sauer Caption Contest! Comments

Dyno Sauer! Hint: Springfield is located in a prominent Midwestern state. Q: Is that Aaron Schock? A: Mr Schock will be available for a cover-shoot in February of 2037. Tuxedo Courtesy the Men's Wearhouse We Have the Right Look for You‎ Not Shown: Big Boy™ pants (black) Nick has the intestinal fortitude not to vote for Speaker Madigan. Fantastic website, great post, I will link to this at Fast Internet Dating Online Can't Spell Metrosexual Without ME Q: Is that Aaron Lawlor?

Look for your LakeCountyEye saying cheese near you.

All Over Hell and Half of Georgia

The joke around Washington DC is that Peter Roskam would even decline to attend his own funeral.

Haha. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has now declined an offer to attend a gathering of voters hosted by the LWV:

U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Wheaton, has declined an invitation by seven League of Women Voters groups to be part of a constituents meeting Feb. 23.
U.S. Rep. Roskam declines invitation to be part of Feb. 23 constituents meeting; congressman agrees to meet with League of Women Voters, media not permitted

Constituents who want to see Roskam are advised instead to pack a suitcase. That is because the far-flung Congressman plans to be in Georgia. And not the Georgia of the Georgia Bulldogs:

Nope, Peter Roskam will be in the Georgia of Eduard Shevardnadze:

Your LakeCountyEye can report exclusively that Peter Roskam is meeting Georgian Foreign Minister Mikheil Janelidze this week, in Washington. And will be travelling to Georgia later this month.

According to Civil Georgia, a Georgian (English-language) news site:

Congressman Peter Roskam (Rep.), who announced his Georgia visit at the end of February, stated that the sides talked on the "strong relationship" between Georgia and the United States. "We look at this as a very important relationship, we have a great deal of admiration for Georgia, the Georgian people and the struggles that they are up against and how they are living out a free and democratic way, which is a great example for the rest of the world," Roskam said.
Foreign Minister Announces U.S. Visit

It is not known if Tbilisi hosts a chapter of the League of Women Voters. Or if they will invite Roskam to a meeting of his constituents.

Sneaky Pete

Q:	Where is the least dangerous place in the world to be?
A:	Between Peter Roskam and a smartphone camera.

Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...

Behind Closed Doors

Vestigial Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam, spoke at a closed-door constituent meeting in Palatine this weekend. And while some 400 constituents were denied entry, the inevitable protest broke out outside:

And just as inevitably, when the meeting was over Peter Roskam snuck out the back alley.

Your LakeCountyEye has the exclusive video:

Peter Roskam Runs From Constituents

Note to Ops: If you are tasked with driving the Peter Roskam getaway vehicle, do not play Back Door Man on the sound system:

When everybody's tryin' to sleep,
I'm somewhere making my midnight creep.
Yes in the morning, when the rooster crow,
Something tell me, I got to go.
Back Door Man

Behind Closed Doors

Far flung Congressman Peter Roskam should be advised not to travel to McHenry County. He could get arrested there by the McHenryCountyBlog.

Roskam (the vestigial Lake County Congressman) was spotted this weekend at a closed-door public meeting in Palatine. Voters not permitted to be in the same room with Roskam assembled outside to protest:

More than 300 people describing themselves as concerned citizens of the 6th District of Illinois demonstrated outside the Palatine Township Republican Organization office early Saturday morning while U.S. Rep. Peter J. Roskam spoke at a meeting inside. The meeting, originally advertised as "free and open to the public," was changed to a "members only" gathering on Feb. 1.
Protesters gather outside GOP meeting attended by Roskam

Over in McHenry County, it is a criminal offense to attend a private meeting. At least according to the McHenryCountyBlog:

Dems Plot in Private in Lincoln Room

Dems Announce Secret Meeting Choices for Office

Dorr Township GOP Leader Tees Off on Democrats' Secrecy

Note to McHenry County Ops: If Peter Roskam does not show up at that meeting he scheduled with you, check your Sheriff's Department, first. He may be in the hoosegow.

Run Run Run Run Runway

If Peter Roskam is the groundhog, then we should expect six more weeks of winter. That's because team-Roskam emerged from their district office this week, saw a member of the press, and ran back inside.

Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...

Flee-Pete

Roskam's office abruptly killed a constituent meeting on Tuesday, rather than face a reporter who was present:

"They brought a reporter with them and so that was not part of the understanding," Roskam said Thursday.
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

The constituents were denied entry into Roskam's district office at the DuPage County Airport in West Chicago. When asked why the vestigial Lake County Congressman maintained a district office in a hard-to-access location like a County Airport, a spokesman for Peter Roskam said: "You never know when you need to make a fast get-away."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Flee-Pete

Note to Ops: While the #1 Rule in a courtroom is ...

Never ask a question which you do not know the answer.

The #1 Rule in politics is ...

Never let a voter ask a question which you do not know the answer.

Vestigial Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam learned this rule the hard way. Roskam's office snubbed a group of constituents yesterday, rather than attend a meeting that was scheduled to discuss Obamacare:

A group of 16 constituents that arranged to meet with staff members at the West Chicago district office of U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Wheaton) Wednesday about their concerns with a repeal of the Affordable Care Act were abruptly told they would have to reschedule after staff realized a member of the press was present.
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

The constituents included a cancer survivor and other at-risk patients. They arranged the meeting at Cong. Roskam's office to evaluate the impact a repeal of Obamacare would have on ordinary people's lives.

"I am flabbergasted that Peter Roskam and his staff would turn us away," the constituent said. "They didn't have the courtesy to listen to us. We are a peaceful group."
Rep. Roskam's office cancels ACA meeting when reporter shows up

An official spokesman issued a statement to explain why Peter Roskam did not meet with his constituents to discuss Obamacare: "Congressman Roskam called in sick today."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.