The Intersection Will Not Be Signalized

Like an unstoppable force against an immovable object, Lake County drivers encounter a fundamental paradox every time they get in their cars. There are not enough roads to get to where they want to go. And yet, in Lake County, there is nowhere to go.

Haha.

The News-Sun this week published a story about an upcoming LCDOT public meeting. The story betrayed some deadpan Lake County highway humor:

Scheduled for Nov. 4 from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Hawthorn Woods Aquatic Center, 94 Midlothian Road, the informal meeting will give all interested parties an "opportunity to provide comments on the preferred alternative, which includes a signalized intersection, a five-lane roadway section, and bicycle and pedestrian facilities," according to an invite from Lake County DOT.

Technically, Gilmer and Midlothian is already signalized and has left- and even right-turn lanes
Where Lake County's rural heritage collides with progress

Note to Ops: A joke is only a joke. But a good headline is clickbait.

Bad Paper

There is not a shred of evidence to support the rumor that Peter Roskam will portray Jack the Ripper this Halloween ...

But your LakeCountyEye has learned that Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- will host a document shredding openhouse this weekend. Operatives who are drowning in paper are invited to dispose of those old documents -- including but not limited to ...

• Bank Withdrawal Slips (Under $10,000)
• Unreleased Tax Returns
• Classified State Department Communiques
• Federal Subpoenas
• The Affordable Health Care Act
• "Surplus" Yardsigns from in Back of the Van
• Rogaine Prescriptions
• Scott Walker for President Petitions
• Union Contracts
• Illinois No-Firearms Signs

Congressman Roskam will be on-hand to demonstrate the "you're-doing-it-wrong" approach to document shredding ...

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!’

... as well as the appropriate way to dispose of that potentially embarrassing paper-trail:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

Note to Ops: Time is limited. Professional cut-ups have been asked not to attend.

You Gotta Know When to Fold'em

Operatives may need pencil and paper to solve this story problem: Take one career Washington politician. Combine the politician with one high-profile Congressional investigation into misdeeds committed in the far-east.  What do you get? Ops who answered the Benghazi Investigation are wrong. The correct answer is the House Ethics Committee probe of Peter Roskam's 2011 trip to Taiwan.

Haha, readers of this blog may recall that Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam got into some hot water a few years ago:

The House Ethics Committee announced Friday it was probing Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Ill.) without detailing what was at issue. Roskam's office disclosed that at issue was a trip he took with his wife to Taiwan in October, 2011 -– at a time his daughter was living in Taiwan. At issue is whether the $25,652 costs for the trip were paid for by the Chinese Culture University -– a permitted funder -— or as the independent Office of Congressional Ethics asserts, the Roskam visit was "organized and conducted by the government of Taiwan, with little to no involvement by the University," which would make it an impermissible funding source.
House ethics panel probing Rep. Peter Roskam over Taiwan trip

Roskam would have gotten off with a slap-on-the-wrist. But since the government of Taiwan did not return calls from the Ethics Committee, he got off scott-free instead.

As if to show that he hadn't only benefited from an expenses-paid vacation on Taiwan's dime, Roskam has been showcasing a recently-acquired mastery of origami -- the oriental art of paper folding.

Here, Roskam constructs a not-to-scale fetal tissue donation for a gathering of values-voters:

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!’

And meeting with faith-based constituents, Roskam demonstrates undivided support for Israel -- with a depiction, in origami, of Moses parting the Red Sea:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

What's next for Peter Roskam, the Edward Scissorhands of Capitol Hill? NRA members will learn how to fold an Illinois No-Firearms sign into a 100% civilian-legal semi-automatic weapon.

Paper Tiger

Not to be confused with the Ebola virus, Lake County has Benghazi fever. Peter Roskam got some media attention for himself during the Benghazi hearing this week in Washington. Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- woke everyone up during the 11 hour marathon slog when he dramatically ripped up a piece of paper:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

Roskam also had it in mind to teach Hillary Clinton some manners:

In a testy exchange at the start of Thursday's hearing, Republican Rep. Peter Roskam of Illinois appeared concerned that he did not have Clinton's full attention. During a lengthy question about a 2011 memo that described her as "the public face of the U.S. effort in Libya," the former secretary of state began flipping through her notes, prompting an irritated reaction from Roskam. "I can pause while you're reading your notes from your staff," he said in a somewhat patronizing suggestion that Clinton was relying heavily on rehearsed talking points.
Did that just happen? Five odd moments from the Benghazi hearing

This was not a first-time performance for Peter Roskam. In 2013 he taught acting IRS chief Daniel Werfel some manners:

During his time questioning Werfel, Rep. Peter Roskam (R-IL) began berating Werfel over the heavily redacted documents members of Congress received, at one point dramatically crumpling the paper in his hand and exclaiming, "this is junk!" GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: 'This Is Junk!'

Word on the street is that Roskam is rehearsing a new setpiece, where he dramatically pushes the US Affordable Health Care Act through a wood chipper.

Women's Libya?

The bar is admittedly low, but Lake County's ladies-man in Washington would have to be Peter Roskam. The ladies love to cast their votes for Congressman Roskam. They vote for him despite the fact that Roskam would levy restrictions on a women's fundamental reproductive rights:

Roskam Praises Today's Court Ruling Against Obamacare Contraception Mandate

... and despite the fact that Roskam supports legislation that would deny many women access to basic health care services:

Roskam Helps Introduce Bill to Fully Defund Planned Parenthood

One source told your LakeCountyEye that Roskam's secret is that he knows what the ladies really like: "Congressman Roskam understands that women want to be told who is boss. Hillary Clinton got the Peter Roskam treatment this week, and she loved every minute of it!"

ROSKAM: Well, you just recited the Clinton doctrine to us, and let me tell you what I think the Clinton doctrine is. I think it's where an opportunity is seized to turn progress in Libya into a political win for Hillary Rodham Clinton, and at the precise moment when things look good, take a victory lap, like on all the Sunday shows three times that year before Gadhafi was killed, and then turn your attention to other things. I yield back.

CLINTON: Well, Congressman, that is only a political statement which you well understand, and I don't understand why that has anything to do with what we are supposed to be talking about today.
Clinton testifies before House committee on Benghazi

The same source told your LakeCountyEye that the ladies have an eye for upper body strength in their representatives. "Just look at how Roskam ripped apart that piece of paper for Hillary. Too bad he didn't have one of his phone books handy!"

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

The source also said that every woman is encouraged to vote for Peter Roskam, however "they must be at least 18 to participate."

Surface Tension

Surprising all the pundits, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran did not announce that he will run for Clerk of the Circuit Court in 2016. Instead, the Daily Herald noted that ...

Lake County Circuit Court Clerk Keith Brin on Tuesday announced plans to seek re-election in 2016. Brin, a Republican from Highland Park, was elected to the post in 2012. A Democratic candidate hasn't yet surfaced.
Brin to run agin for court clerk

One observer told your LakeCountyEye, "There is still six feet of water in the Circuit Court basement. It's anybody's guess what is swimming around down there, below the surface."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Unarmed Robbery

As of June of this year, 3142 active concealed carry licenses were granted to McHenry County firearm owners:

HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR COUNTY HAVE CONCEALED CARRY LICENSES?

Another indication that McHenry County has been targeted by fastbuck artists comes from the McHenryCountyBlog:

On 10-07-15 at 1501 hrs, a Harvard Resident (f-37 yoa) reported they received a message about winning a large amount of money. The resident sent $250 via a wire transfer to Nigeria as well as personal identifiers to claim the winnings. The resident later learned it was a scam.
Nigerian Internet Scam

Willie Sutton once said he robbed banks because that's where the money is. But one criminal observer recently told your LakeCountyEye they target McHenry County because "that's where people from McHenry County live".

Operatives are asked to observe sensible precautions when visiting McHenry County.

Reductio ad Referendum

There is a old saying in Lake County: "If the Route 53 Extension did not exist, it would be necessary to invent one."

Haha, the News-Sun noted that ...

Opponents of the proposed Route 53 extension lined up before the Lake County Board on Tuesday to criticize what they described as a lack of transparency and public input on the issue, with one speaker calling on the county to conduct an advisory referendum in 2016 to get an updated take on support for the long-debated concept.
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board

The Lake County Board was urged to slate a new Route 53 Referendum. Only this time they needed to spell out how much it will cost, both in dollars and against the environment. Also, to ask the voters during a high-turnout, Presidential election -- and not during an April, off-year election.

Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor was overheard to say ...

"I don't want to get into a debate about Route 53."
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board

Note to Ops: Nothing to see here. Move along please.

Speaker Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Is Peter Roskam the next Denny Hastert? The National Review thinks so. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, does not hide the fact that his radar is trained on the leadership of the US House of Representatives. And now that the Speaker of the House's seat is up for grabs, Roskam may have the opening he wants. The National Review said ...

A senior aide to another House Republican who has worked with Roskam thinks he might replicate the ascent of former House speaker Dennis Hastert, known as "the accidental speaker" because of how he took advantage of an unexpected vacancy in 1998. "Hastert's path to leadership must be on his mind," the aide says.
Peter Roskam: The Next-Next Speaker?

The Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist has drawn a toon symbolizing the catch-ass-catch-can freeforall transpiring under the Capitol dome in Washington:

The battle for the Speaker's gavel

One guy in the cartoon is the spittin' image of Peter Roskam:

You don't think this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™? Then bite me!

The identity of the other fellow, in the polkadot shorts, and getting his rear-end bit, is unknown. One thing is certain, someone is openly bending the Hastert Rule. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Kuwait and See

Other than having been liberated by coalition forces during Operation Desert Storm, Lake County has little else in common with the constitutional monarchy of Kuwait. Nonetheless a delegation of Kuwaitis are here to see how traffic is managed in Lake County.

According to the News-Sun ...

About two dozen Kuwait National Police and Traffic Engineers visited Lake County Monday as part of a United Nations program run through the Northwestern University Center for Public Safety.
Kuwaiti police, engineers visit Lake County to learn about traffic safety

One source with his nose under the tent told your LakeCountyEye, "After we get a down payment on the Route 53 Extension, we got a bridge to show them in Brooklyn."

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. مواصلة التحرك لا يوجد شيء أن نرى هنا.

Ambassador Thomas Pickering: the US, the UN and the Future

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Thomas Pickering, Ambassador to the United Nations under President George H.W. Bush (1989 - 1992) will speak about the wide ranging mission of the United Nations and its relevance in today's dynamic, interdependent, nuclear world. He will also present ideas for strengthening the U.N. as it moves forward.

• Saturday
  October 10, 2015
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  773- 281-0378
• Coffee and conversation will follow the presentation
• $15
• No Charge for Students

The Doldy Herald?

Veterans Day may be November 11, but the Daily Herald is already in the tank for Congressman Robert Dold.

Haha, Illinois congressional lawmakers have voted this year to kill ObamaCare, defund Planned Parenthood and to shut down the US government. This is what the Sun-Times said:

Roskam, Hultgren, LaHood vote against stopgap funding measure: Illinois delegation roll call

While the Daily Herald spun the stories thus:

Dold one of three Republicans to oppose Obamacare repeal

Dold breaks with Republicans on Planned Parenthood vote

Dold breaks with GOP on shutdown vote

Word on the street is that Robert Dold wants to be remembered as Lake County's disruptive legislator. A source at the Daily Herald explained it this way: "Dog bites man is not news. Dold bites Boehner is news." Your LakeCountyEye is hardpressed to disagree.

With an election coming, the Herald is developing more stories about Dold.  Your LakeCountyEye has seen galleys for ten of them -- so you don't have to:

Ten Future Daily Herald Stories About Congressman Robert Dold

Dold Gives Republicans the Cold Shoulder, Says Global Warming is Real Dold Breaks with GOP Colleagues, Performs Gay Marriage Dold Blasts GOP, Discards All His Firearms in Lake Michigan Dold Surprises Everyone, Nominates Nancy Pelosi for Speaker Dold One of Three Republicans to have Abortion Dold Says: "It's True, We Put Together a Special Benghazi Committee and Hillary Clinton's Numbers are Dropping!" Bernie Sanders Asks Dold to be Running Mate Dold Breaks the Faith, Converts to Islam Dold Favors Tax-and-Spend Big Government Programs Like Route 53 Extension Daily Herald Completely Drops Pretense of Journalistic Objectivity

Look for your LakeCountyEye, disrupting the rabblement near you.