A No-Win Situation

It's been brought to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there is a Primary election on Tuesday. Who knew?

The Daily Herald did, and they say ...

As people around the suburbs head to the polls Tuesday for a primary with big consequences for how Illinois is governed, here are a few things to know:
Primary Election Day: What to know

The Herald goes on to enumerate bunch of stupid stuff -- like where to vote -- but there is really only one thing you want to know: Who is going to win & lose?

Operatives who subscribe to your LakeCountyEye's For Eyes Only Newsletter Service™ -- a steal at $39.95 per month -- know who will win and who will lose, and have already placed their Intrade bets. Everyone else, your LakeCountyEye has the sad duty to report, will have to wait until after the polls close.

Your LakeCountyEye will share one secret. And that it is no secret who will win or lose, if you know how to read any of the signs. Of which there are 10:

Ten Sure Indicators that You are Going to Lose the Election

You are Going to Prove the Pundits & Pollsters Wrong They are Stealing Your Opponent's Signs They are Not Stealing Your Signs You Did Not Quit Your Day Job Your 4-Color Mailers are Delivered the Day After the Election Two Words: Eleventh-Hour Robo-Calls You Are the Write-In Candidate The Campaign Staff are All Suing Your Opponent Refuses to Debate Your Opponent Lives in Florida

Look for your LakeCountyEye at a victory party near you.