More Laws

They say laws are like sausages -- the best ones are all pork. Haha, a whole rash of new Illinois laws will arrive with the new year. And operatives are advised to take note.

To help sort through all the clauses, your LakeCountyEye consulted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Legal Technicalities at the College of Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye met Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi at the Deer Park Mall, where he was dressed as Santa Claus.

"The new gay marriage law does not go into effect until 2014." he said. "Please get off my lap."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly apologized.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi explained why he was working as a mall Santa: "I need the money. Last month I threw a cigarette out of my car. That cost me $1,500!"

One new Illinois law will penalize anyone caught improperly disposing a cigarette. Your LakeCountyEye asked if he was fined for littering.

"Are you kidding?" replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Heck no. I dropped a medical marijuana cigarette."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly guessed that the lost blunt had an estimated street value of $1,500.

"Precisely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And just for the record I am privy to that information second-hand."

Your LakeCountyEye observed that medical marijuana will be legal in 2014.

"Ya, but don't go and change the bong water just yet." sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Municipalities in Lake County are all passing ordinances to restrict the cultivation and distribution of cannabis."

That's harsh, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Harsh to the extreme." agreed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But some clever entrepreneurs have already found a loophole in the restrictions. I won't name any names, but if you're at a Christmas tree lot, don't let the guy sell you a Scotch Pine or Colorado Blue Spruce. Ask instead for an Acapulco Gold."

Awesome, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Word on the street," whispered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "is that municipal tree-lighting ceremonies are breaking attendance records this year."

By now, the children in line to see Santa were getting impatient and cranky. Your LakeCountyEye asked if there were any other new laws that operatives should know about.

"Absolutely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.  "Your operatives will be able to carry a concealed weapon, in 2014. And just for the record, that was a gun in my pocket."