The Lulz Before the Storm

Lake County is busy squeegeeing-off its collective self after riding out a second 100-year flood in as many months. As readers of this blog are waterloggedly aware:

Sinking in the Rain

They weren't whistling Dixie when they decided to call it Lake County. According to the Daily Herald ...

One day after heavy rain from an early-morning storm caused flooding in southern Lake County, officials said those areas are slowly returning to normal.
Flooded areas returning to normal in Lake County

But before the waters receded, the backyard bass were bitin' to beat the band, and operatives are invited to the LakeCountyEye Compound for an old fashioned fish fry. (Bring your own bottle.)

Climatologists are all predicting that these Lake County freak floods will be the new normal. Not to be outdone, your LakeCountyEye consulted a number of board certified futurologists, and they all agreed about what Lake County can look forward to in the future. Ten times, by your LakeCountyEye's count:

Ten Things to Expect After Lake County's Next 100-Year Flood

The Stupid Route 53 Extension will be rebranded the Awesome Route 53 Water Slide. Highland Park will ban Super Soakers. Video poker machines will pay double for drawing a flush. The Antioch Rescue Squad will d/b/a the Antioch Coast Guard. A no-wake order will be in effect for most of I-294. The free-range chicken farms will be repurposed into free-range duck farms. Every home will have an unobstructed view of Lake Michigan. All daytime sprinkler bans will be lifted. It will be even harder to tell where Barrington ends and Lake Barrington begins. Lake County will no longer share a border with any other Illinois county. So say goodbye to the Lake County Election Commission.

Look for your LakeCountyEye in a water closet near you.