Guns and Butter

It's no secret that Lake County is getting all bollixed up over gay marriage. What is less known is that gay marriage will soon be the law of the land in Illinois -- that is, if the gun manufacturers get their way.  Your LakeCountyEye has the greenlight to report an Internet exclusive: the gun manufacturers and their lobby, the NRA, are preparing to go full-bore, so to speak, in support of gay marriage.

Crime statistics show that most instances of domestic violence occur within the first few years of marriage. This fact is not lost on the gun manufacturers, who count newlyweds among their best and most loyal customers. Your LakeCountyEye has been told that in states where gay marriage became legal, gun sales increased by healthy if not significant margins.

One anonymous spokesman for the gun manufacturer's lobby told your LakeCountyEye: "Have you ever listened to country music? Do you think those song lyrics are all made up? Our internal sales numbers tell us that the first thing every newlywed does after the honeymoon is sneak out to the gun shop, behind the back of their partner. They want to make sure that they have some insurance against getting cheated on -- or a remedy as the case may be. I don't have to tell you what will happen to gun sales if large numbers of young, virile gay males suddenly enter this pool."

You heard it here first. It is only a matter of time, now, before gay marriage is legal in Illinois.

Now, operatives may be forgiven if they suspect your LakeCountyEye is pulling the wool over their eyes. But consider these recent news items:

On March 25, the Illinois Firearms Manufacturers Association, of Naperville, made a $1,500 contribution to Citizens for Sullivan.

Citizens for Sullivan: A-1 List

Citizens for Sullivan is the political action committee of Lake County State Representative, Ed Sullivan Jr.

Then the Chicago Tribune reported this week that State Rep Ed Sullivan Jr now supports gay marriage.

State Rep. Ed Sullivan Jr. of Mundelein said Sunday he will support a bill to allow gay marriage in Illinois, becoming the second House Republican to do so and first among leadership.
GOP state lawmaker backs same-sex marriage bill

Politics makes strange bedfellows.