Q the Eye/01.24.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I have made plans to travel around Illinois for the next several months, holding meetings with voters before announcing my political future. What do you foresee in my political future?

Not Joe Walsh

Dear Of Course You're Not,

Two words: Township Government.

Illinois's township elections will be held in April, and the bar for a township election is set so low that even a one-term ex-congressman could expect to run and win.

Case in point: a petition with valid signatures must be submitted if you want to appear on a ballot. But not necessarily for a township election in Lake County. One township slate recently faced an objection filed against their nominating petition, alleging that signatures were forged. This objection was corroborated with affidavits from victims of the alleged forgeries.

As reported in the the Patch, this township slate's defense was basically: oops, my bad ...

Ela First incumbent Trustee Larry Bowman testified that he gathered signatures at a large party. "There is no evidence that Mr. Bowman, or someone Mr. Bowman knew, signed the other signatures. It may not be the best practice to have petitions signed at a large gathering," said electoral board member Joseph Menges, a North Barrington attorney.
Ela Township Race Still On After Petition Challenge Defeated

So if you're accused of submitting fraudulent signatures to qualify for a township election, just deny that you witnessed anything. According to the Sun-Times ...

although Bowman claimed he gathered signatures at a large gathering, he testified that he did not actually watch them sign their names.
Ela Township electoral board dismisses ballot objection

Now, from a purely legal standpoint, when you submit a petition that you circulated you are attesting that every signature was signed in your presence:

GENERAL PRIMARY PETITION
2013 Candidates Guide - Amended 12/4/2012

But haha apparently legal obligations like these do not apply in township elections.

So to answer your question, you can freely admit to petition fraud (and even see it show up in print) and still get slated on a ballot. Your best bet is pick any Lake County township and run as a write-in. Supervisor positions pay about as well as a congressional salary, but your LakeCountyEye recommends going for Highway Commissioner. Their salaries may be lower but you will be amply compensated by the comically huge & disproportionate budgets that township Highway Commissioners are able to command.

If you know what your LakeCountyEye means.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com