Bored Chairmen

The tireless tax fighters over at the McHenryCountyBlog must be all tired out from fighting all those taxes; or something. That's because the McHenryCountyBlog just got scooped on a story about their bête noire, Jack Franks. And not only scooped but scooped by their other bête noire, haha, this blog.

The McHenry Country Board recently met with a number of McHenry County legislators, including State Rep Jack Franks, to discuss their legislative wishlist. But don't look to read about the meeting in the McHenryCountyBlog, because it isn't there.

If it was anything like the annual Lake County Legislative Breakfast then the meeting was way too boring for public consumption -- and by design. Here's a taste, courtesy the Northwest Herald of what transpired:

state lawmakers had mixed opinions on a request by the McHenry County and Lake County boards to allow the Fox Waterway Agency to charge a public safety fee of up to $30 a year to defray the cost of policing the Chain O' Lakes and the Fox River in the wake of state funding cuts to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources. Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor, who attended Thursday’s meeting, said about 40 percent of the river's total recreation comes from outside the two counties whose taxes pay for existing safety.
Officials share expectations of General Assembly

Jack Franks, however, was good for a zing:

Franks chided the County Board on its decision last week not to put a referendum on the April ballot allowing voters to elect the board chairman instead of being chosen by the board's 24 members.
Officials share expectations of General Assembly

Oh snap!

In related news, your LakeCountyEye has been told that Aaron Lawlor was very disappointed to learn that McHenry County voters will not be allowed to elect their board chairman. Lawlor, the Lake County Board Chairman, had been planning to run, in 2014, for McHenry County Board Chairman.

Haha j/k.

Widow Makers

Don't be surprised one of these days if you're approached by some stranger eager to show what is hidden under his raincoat. That's because, haha, Lake County is all excited about their concealed carry. Ever since a Federal Court struck down Illinois's concealed carry laws, Lake County has been itching for the opportunity to possess a loaded firearm on or about their person in a manner wholly or partially covered by clothing or accessories -- in other words, totally gangsta-style.

The day may come soon. According to the Daily Herald, Springfield is up against a six month court-ordered deadline, and ...

Lt. Gov. Sheila Simon is inviting new lawmakers from across Illinois to work with her on a concealed carry law.
Lt. Gov. Forms Group to Discuss Concealed Carry

Sheila Simon (an honorary Lake County Democrat) is tasked with crafting legislation that legalizes concealed carry, but not at the expense of alienating Democratic constituents.

These sorts of thankless tasks are why Illinois has an elected Lieutenant Governor. But while thankless, this particular task is far from hopeless. Your LakeCountyEye suggests the Illinois legislature simply pass a law that allows elderly women and only elderly women to carry concealed weapons. In other words, only women of a certain age or older would get to carry concealed weapons -- and no one else. Written that way, Illinois gets a court-mandated concealed carry law that liberal crybaby Democrats can live with.

NRA card-toting operatives might object that a law that permits only elderly females to possess a concealed firearm unconstitutionally discriminates on a basis of both age and gender. But these sorts of discriminatory laws pass constitutional muster all the time -- a six-year-old, for instance, is not allowed to obtain a drivers license.

It can easily be demonstrated to a court that both males and youths are much more prone to violent behavior than are females and the elderly. And that allowing a male or young person to possess a concealed firearm would be like giving a drivers license to a six-year-old. It's simply a scientific fact!

Take it from your LakeCountyEye, who speaks from experience. Every local political blogger of note -- TeamAmerica10th, McHenryCountyBlog, Commonsense10th -- is either a male or non-elderly or both. And if they are anything like your LakeCountyEye they are walking powderkegs with little tiny heads on top and shorter fuses on the bottom. Are these the sort of people who should be allowed to carry a concealed weapon of deadly force? Your LakeCountyEye thinks not.

The devil of course is in the details. Just how old is an old lady? Advances in medicine and cosmetic surgery, make this difficult to pin down. So your LakeCountyEye recommends that any female who is old enough to receive Medicare gets to carry a concealed weapon. If you're not old enough or the wrong gender, well, it sucks to be you.

And with the threshold set at the age of Medicare eligibility, your LakeCountyEye anticipates that the NRA will be lobbying to get that age reduced down to six-year-olds. That would be a bonus for your LakeCountyEye who would finally be able to afford some decent healthcare! Operatives are urged to contact their legislators immediately with details of your LakeCountyEye's proposed Illinois Little Old Lady Concealed Carry Law.

The shorthand name of the bill is: the Illinois LOL Concealed Carry Law.

Q the Eye/01.24.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I have made plans to travel around Illinois for the next several months, holding meetings with voters before announcing my political future. What do you foresee in my political future?

Not Joe Walsh

Dear Of Course You're Not,

Two words: Township Government.

Illinois's township elections will be held in April, and the bar for a township election is set so low that even a one-term ex-congressman could expect to run and win.

Case in point: a petition with valid signatures must be submitted if you want to appear on a ballot. But not necessarily for a township election in Lake County. One township slate recently faced an objection filed against their nominating petition, alleging that signatures were forged. This objection was corroborated with affidavits from victims of the alleged forgeries.

As reported in the the Patch, this township slate's defense was basically: oops, my bad ...

Ela First incumbent Trustee Larry Bowman testified that he gathered signatures at a large party. "There is no evidence that Mr. Bowman, or someone Mr. Bowman knew, signed the other signatures. It may not be the best practice to have petitions signed at a large gathering," said electoral board member Joseph Menges, a North Barrington attorney.
Ela Township Race Still On After Petition Challenge Defeated

So if you're accused of submitting fraudulent signatures to qualify for a township election, just deny that you witnessed anything. According to the Sun-Times ...

although Bowman claimed he gathered signatures at a large gathering, he testified that he did not actually watch them sign their names.
Ela Township electoral board dismisses ballot objection

Now, from a purely legal standpoint, when you submit a petition that you circulated you are attesting that every signature was signed in your presence:

GENERAL PRIMARY PETITION
2013 Candidates Guide - Amended 12/4/2012

But haha apparently legal obligations like these do not apply in township elections.

So to answer your question, you can freely admit to petition fraud (and even see it show up in print) and still get slated on a ballot. Your best bet is pick any Lake County township and run as a write-in. Supervisor positions pay about as well as a congressional salary, but your LakeCountyEye recommends going for Highway Commissioner. Their salaries may be lower but you will be amply compensated by the comically huge & disproportionate budgets that township Highway Commissioners are able to command.

If you know what your LakeCountyEye means.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

A Reverse Spin of Fortune

Even though the 2014 election will not occur until another year or two from now -- in 2014 -- operatives who are polishing their resumes want to know the names of the early favorites and losers. Your LakeCountyEye always advises to first look for that telltale sign that your candidate is doomed to failure. One clear indicator is the candidate with a campaign strategy that boils down to one word: facebook. A campaign that plans to win by leveraging a presence on social media is both broke and desperate.

So, if there had been any doubt that Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran has ambitions for state-wide office (possibly Attorney General) in 2014, the Daily Herald reported that the Lake County Sheriff's Office now has a facebook page:

The sheriff's office also utilizes Twitter and the government website, which will be revamped within the next few months.
Lake County Sheriff's Office on Facebook

Disclaimer: having been banned for life by facebook and Twitter (on unsubstantiated allegations of mopery with intent to gawk), your LakeCountyEye has not actually had an opportunity to eyeball the Sheriff's new social media pages. Your LakeCountyEye however is still able to look up Curran's D-2 Reports, the latest of which shows a $2500 expenditure to Reverse Spin LLC. Along with a similar expenditure in September, the Friends of Mark Curran have given the Wheaton consultants some $5000:

SBE Expenditure List

Reverse Spin would appear to be a PR firm specializing in damage control:

When your reputation or the reputation of your corporation, organization or political group is threatened by overwhelming force, you need game changers. You need determined experts who specialize in reversing conventional wisdom or unfavorable "spin."
What is Reverse Spin?

It is unclear why Curran would would need $5000 (and counting) worth of damage control services for his next election campaign. It would appear however that Reverse Spin also does social media. The firm ...

■ Integrates social media and video services into any type of public effort.
Versatile performers

Perhaps Curran has hired Reverse Spin just to manage his facebook page and post tweets for him on Twitter?

The Stevenson Center Hosts: America's Misguided Policy Toward Iran

The Stevenson Center will host a program on America's Misguided Policy Toward Iran:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

John Mearsheimer is the E. Wendell Harrison Distinguished Service Professor and Co-Director of the Program on International Security Policy at the University of Chicago. He has written extensively about security issues and international politics, including the books Why Leaders Lie: The Truth about Lying in International Politics, The Tragedy of Great Power Politics, and The Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy (with Stephen M. Walt) and numerous articles.

• Sunday
  January 27, 2013
  2 PM
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• $15
• Coffee and conversation following

Q the Eye/01.14.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Where does someone go to get a date in Lake County?

One Man, One Vote

Dear Single Issue Voter,

The best place to find a date in Lake County is on an Internet Dating Service. Your LakeCountyEye's profile was posted, a while back, on one popular dating website:

Name Barney Baxter Favorite Food Cheetos Favorite Beverage Mountain Dew Best Hangout Basement (finished) of Divorced Parent Occupation Blogger

You would now have to be a Mundelein Free Range Chicken Rancher to have slept with more chicks than your LakeCountyEye!

Haha j/k. The truth is your LakeCountyEye hasn't been on a date since Rumsfeld was a Congressman. (A lousy tipper.) Your best bet is to follow the lead of another Lake County Congressman, Peter Roskam. Given his record of pushing legislation that would criminalize basic reproductive medical decisions, one would think that Roskam would have a big gender problem with his female voters. Not so. In fact, Peter Roskam enjoys a reputation of being Lake County's ladies man in Washington DC.

Roskam's secret? As far as your LakeCountyEye can tell, he knows what the ladies want. And according to the big dating sites, the ladies want someone who will listen:

Like for instance eHarmony.com ...

Women Want You to Listen Up
In general, women complain that men don't listen to them.
What Women Really Want

And at match.com ...

Follow the advice in Proverbs 18:13: 'He who answers before listening; that is his folly and his shame.'
Listen ... and find love

So guess who the Northwest Herald has proclaimed Congress's Listener In Chief:

Roskam's listening skills will make the transition to a redrawn district easier, said Darlene Ruscitti, chairman of the DuPage County Republicans.
Roskam seen as 'listener in chief'

The House Republicans, with Roskam's support, may succeed one day at criminalizing a woman's reproductive options. Your LakeCountyEye knows exactly where Peter Roskam will be on that day. Visiting the prisons and listening to the stories of the criminals they sent there.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

The Route 53 Extended Warranty

No one loves an Internet widget more than your LakeCountyEye. And the News-Sun delivered today, with this story:

Lake County commuters now have a chance to see how bad traffic is on the tollway before they even leave home. The Illinois Tollway on Tuesday announced expanded public access to traffic images by adding feeds from 15 traffic camera locations to its Website, www.illinoistollway.com
Tollway cams give drivers view of traffic conditions

Your LakeCountyEye can confirm that the Illinois Tollway has a website with some real-time feeds from its roadside spycams. Ops tasked with hustling up some GOTV primary votes can go to the Illinois Tollway's webpage at ...

Illinois Virtual Tollway

First click the Traffic Cameras button. Then click one of the camera icons on the Illinois Tollway Virtual Map to see real-time pictures of the local traffic conditions.

OK, this all sounds pretty much about as complicated as it actually is. What say your LakeCountyEye just embeds the camera feed from the Route 53 Extension? Right here ...

Those ops who need to know what the traffic on the Route 53 Extension looks like can now visit this blog for a quick looksee. If things look real bad, take your LakeCountyEye's advice and stay at home for some call-banking instead!

Straight Ticket Voting

Banty rooster & loose cannon free agent Joe Walsh refuses to let go of the pause button on his 15 minutes of fame. According to NBC Chicago ...

Former Congressman Joe Walsh's (it feels great to type that) campaign for Senate or governor begins next Wednesday at 7 p.m., at Blackie's restaurant, 755 S. Clark St. That's when and where Walsh will address a meeting of the Chicago Tea Party. Nobody expected the right-wing motormouth to shut up after he was defeated by Tammy Duckworth on Nov. 6.
Joe Walsh To Address Chicago Tea Party

Everyone wants to know if and which office Walsh is going to run for in 2014. His decision will significantly impact the plans of other ambitious Republican candidates farther down the political food-chain. Your LakeCountyEye fully expects to see Lake County Board Chair Aaron Lawlor (or his ops) among the attendees at the Walsh soiree. What's it called when you find yourself playing understudy to someone who plays it fast & loose with his allotted 15 minutes of fame? Sloppy seconds. Hee hee.

The public sector pensioners at the McHenryCountyBlog are betting that Walsh decides to run for Governor. They are so sure of it that their blog is already trying to out the one Republican who could beat Walsh in a Gubernatorial primary:

There is one Republican who voted for civil unions while State Senator. Not gay marriage, granted, but close. He's State Treasurer and former State Rep. and Senator Dan Rutherford.
Did Joe Walsh Separate Himself from Dan Rutherford on Gay Rights?

For the record, Dan Rutherford is not gay. That's what he told the Illinois Review ...

I interviewed Rutherford and when I asked him what he referred to as "The Question." He had heard the same rumors over the years and was eager to answer it publicly. Indeed, Rutherford told me directly, "No, I am not gay."
Always Right: Rutherford, Schock and the sexualization of Illinois politics

This may be disappointing news to Lake County Board Chair Aaron Lawlor, who is rumored to be eyeing the governor's seat. Despite everything, Dan Rutherford remains an honorary Lake County Republican.

Cliff Dwellers

That giant metal-on-metal crunch sound that nobody heard was the sound of the ship of state not being driven into the fiscal cliff. Right on the heels of narrowly averting Mayan Armageddon, Lake County's congressmen, to a man, all voted last week to narrowly avert Tax Armageddon. That is if one defines to a man as former congressman Robert Dold. Lake County's remaining congressmen -- Peter Roskam, Randy Hultgren, Joe Walsh -- all voted, to a man, to usher in the Taxageddon.

While your LakeCountyEye suspects the three unruly congressmen believed they were voting to trigger the biblical end-times and their heavenly rapture, the Daily Herald was not amused ...

the vote makes us question the endorsements we recently gave Roskam and Hultgren and reinforces our decision to withhold an endorsement from Walsh.
Editorial: Our congressmen and the fiscal cliff test

Not for nothing Lake County's oldest non-partisan political blog, your LakeCountyEye, advises Mother Herald to take some deep breaths. Dold's was the lone, courageous & sensible vote because Robert Dold was a lame-duck with nothing to lose. Roskam, Hultgren & Walsh, are all incumbents and remain beholden to their prime mover: Grover Norquist promised to bankroll a candidate against anyone who voted for the fiscal cliff compromise. 'Twas the divine fear of a primary challenge that explains the collective, craven & reckless vote of reps Roskam, Hultgren & Walsh. Your LakeCountyEye predicts that within the passage of two years the Herald will once again be enthusiastically endorsing all three Congressmen.

Sharpeyed operatives who observe that Walsh was defeated in 2012 and technically speaking is not an incumbent, would be correct. However, according to Crain's, Joe Walsh is the rumored primary challenge to be thrown against Randy Hultgren:

Probably more credible, though, is persistent buzz that Mr. Walsh will focus on regaining his congressional seat — not against Ms. Duckworth, whose district now is reliably Democratic, but by running in a primary against Republican Randy Hultgren in the adjoining 14th District.
Joe Walsh set to announce comeback plans?

... which makes Walsh, technically speaking, the incumbent-in-waiting.

In related news, it is also rumored that Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor will be challenging Randy Hultgren in 2014.

Where's Walsh? in WASHINGTON

The clock has officially run out on Joe Walsh's 15 minutes of fame. The 113th Congress was sworn in yesterday and the former Eighth District Congressman was nowhere to be seen, swearing. According to the Sun-Times ...

When the new House members take their oath of office, Illinois will have six freshmen, a Republican, Rodney Davis and five Democrats, Tammy Duckworth, Cheri Bustros, Brad Schneider, Bill Foster and William Enyart.
New Congress gets sworn-in today: Six new Illinois lawmakers

Tammy Duckworth may have turned banty rooster Joe Walsh into a lame duck, but your LakeCountyEye has learned he is not out of the hunt yet. It is rumored that Walsh will run for Governor in 2014. Other rumors predict he will run for Lieutenant Governor. Neither rumor is welcome news to Lake County Board Chair, Aaron Lawlor. Lawlor has already announced that he plans to run for Governor -- and also for Lieutenant Governor. Haha, j/k.

Operatives are advised to adopt a wait-and-see attitude. In the meantime, your LakeCountyEye has invented a new contest called ...

Where's Walsh?

Joe Walsh this week was seen in Washington DC. Operatives are challenged to find Walsh hidden somewhere in this Sun-Times photo:

New Congress gets sworn-in today: Six new Illinois lawmakers

Just for the record, your LakeCountyEye loves the new au naturel coif. Lookin good, Joe!