Debatable Candidates

Your LakeCountyEye has confirmed that because of decennial redistricting, the number of candidates on the 2012 ballot will exceed the number of registered voters in Lake County. With the petition deadline a short week away, an emergency plan is in the works to bus up migrant voters from Cook County.

Ha ha, as readers of this blog are abundantly aware ...

The Petition Edition

the 2012 election cycle has produced a bumper crop of new candidates, who all want support from the same limited pool of party operatives, like so many bumper cars crowded in a, erm, bumper shop.

In politics, as it is in the Bible, many are called but few are chosen. The typical sales pitch delivered in the proverbial smoke-filled room, your LakeCountyEye has learned, follows a predictable trajectory:

	Candidate:	I'm running for Congress and I need your help.
	Operative:	Awesome. What are your qualifications?
	Candidate:	I have a lot of ideas.
	Operative:	I meant what do you bring to the table?
	Candidate:	My ideas! Washington is broken and I know how to fix it.
	Operative:	Outstanding. Of course anyone who listens to Limbaugh and Hannity can repeat all the talking points. But what differentiates you? More to the point, how much money have you raised?
	Candidate:	Money? I don't have any.
	Operative:	Then what's your fundraising plan?
	Candidate:	That's why I'm here, asking for your support. I need someone to raise the money for me.
	Operative:	Have you thought about running for your county board instead?
	Candidate:	County board? What's that?

For the record, the above transcription is taken from a candidate interview conducted in 2009. The candidate's name? Joe Walsh. The rest is history.