The Swift Boat of Truth

There are many school trustees on the April 5 election ballot, and your LakeCountyEye could not resist making light of both the County's School Boards and the voters who seat them. But with the polls now open to early voting and election day nearing, your LakeCountyEye recognizes a need to dial it down, if only for purposes of bettering the Republic with a well-informed electorate. Acknowledging that some may have been offended by recent, insensitive tweets ...

Q the Eye/03.14.11

your LakeCountyEye reiterates that there is no truth to the claim that conservative voters secretly desire a Swift return to fundamental principles where the mission of public education is to prepare raw & callow youth into a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled.

The aforementioned remarks were brooked for the purposes of Internet satire, and Internet satire only; your LakeCountyEye regrets any false misperceptions these may have created.

This is not to say, however, that conservatives wouldn't like to see the public schools eliminated in favor of private education -- preferably on the taxpayer's dime, and in the form of school vouchers. No doubt more than a minority would prefer to cut out the middleman entirely in favor of homeschooling; and would just as soon the whole public education system blew itself up.

The reason for their animosity toward the three Rs is the three Gs: God, Guns & Gays. An emboldened conservative base doesn't like to see Evolution being taught; they think educators should be teaching children how to recite their prayers -- i.e., their Our Fathers and Hail Marys and whatnot. Sex education is another anathema; they don't want to see their kids fraternizing with members of the opposite sex. Or the same sex.

It should be no mystery why the Tea Party, et al., have declared war on the Teacher's Unions and the public education system. They don't hold much value for what's on the curriculum.

All of which leaves the last G: Guns. They're also none too happy that the conceal-carry laws stop at public school boundaries.