Elephant Joke

Fans of the Chicago Tribune's Creepy Cartoonist should be familiar with his Elephant-in-the-Room gags. The Elephant-in-the-Room is always some big-government outrage; and the outrage is symbolized by a drawing of some large, endangered African land mammal. Readers of this blog will recall ...

Creepy Tribune Cartoonist Oblivious to Elephant in the Room

where the outrage was the BLOATED GOVT DEFICIT, and the endangered land mammal was the African Black Rhinoceros.

Sharp-eyed operatives noticed, however, that the Elephant-in-the-Room is never actually a drawing of an elephant. The reason seems to be the elephant is the mascot of the Republican party. And if he used the GOP's mascot to represent government bloat, the Creepy Cartoonist might be drummed out of his secret skull'n'bones cabal ... or worse ... or something. So the creepster's drawings are limited in scope to rhinoceroses, gorillas, hippopotamuses, and other non-elephantine, large, endangered land mammals.

Of course, there is a reason that all these large, African land mammals are endangered. That reason being they will all be extinct within your lifetimes. And any sharp-eyed operative knows this means that sooner or later the Creepy Cartoonist will have a problem. Sooner or later there will be no large land mammals left to symbolize bloated government -- besides the elephant. So, for instance, the next time the Creepy Cartoonist is outraged by big government, as in ...

Creepy Tribune Cartoonist vs the 800 lb Elephant

there may not be any, say, Eastern Lowland Gorillas left to draw, and he may be compelled by the vicissitudes of cruel nature to use an actual elephant to represent bloated government.

Of course the thought of being forced to use an elephant on the printed page to symbolize out-of-control Illinois pensions is enough to make the heads of many Lake County natives explode. So with the snow yet to be shovelled off the walk, and in the interest of not creating any more clean-up work than necessary, your LakeCountyEye suggests that operatives take solace in this Northwest Herald story ...

Legislators write pension rules and cash in

It turns out that some high profile Illinois Republicans are doing quite well for themselves by way of that bloated Illinois pension system:

• Comptroller Judy Baar Topinka: $145,727
• Former Gov Jim Edgar: $130,925
• Former Gov James Thompson: 127,215
• Former State Sen Jack Schaffer: $96,126
• Former State Sen William Peterson: $91,007

None of these pensioners seem any worse for wear from the cognitive dissonance generated by the intersection of the GOP and their bloated government pensions. Why should you be expected to show any symptoms of cranial distress either?

In fact, the same Illinois pension system even bankrolls the anti-government incendiaries at the McHenryCountyBlog:

• Former State Rep Cal Skinner: $77,506

Operatives are advised to stay indoors. Your LakeCountyEye's head be exploding.