Back Pedaling

WØØt it's 2010! And not a minute too soon. Whether the new year is called Two Thousand and Ten or Twenty Aught Ten, your LakeCountyEye did manage to make it out of bed before the first sunset of the new decade. This is the time of year that Internet bloggers make their predictions. Fearing no new-year ritual, no matter how corny, your LakeCountyEye is eager to engage in some shoot-from-the-hip palmistry if for nothing other than a lack of anything better to write about.

Of course accurately foretelling what the next decade will hold is not as easy as it sounds. The secret is to know in advance what sort of name the decade will be called. Were the new decade called -- just for example -- the roaring twenties, then it is quite easy to guess what will unfold the next ten years. But given a decade with a name like the psychedelic sixties, a much different fate awaits. Likewise for a decade called something like the gay nineties -- which happens to be where your LakeCountyEye's money is going.

If Andy Martin's new radio ad is any sign of things to come, prepare yourself for the gay teens ...

Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says [Mark] Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals.
Transcript from the Political Ad

Internet Powerhouse® Andy Martin is entwined in a mano-a-mano struggle with Mark Kirk for the Republican US Senate nomination. Raymond True, honcho of the Republican Assembly of Lake County, however has back pedaled himself from Martin's ad -- telling the Chicago Tribune he did not say mean things about Mark Kirk ...

"I never said Mark was a homosexual and there's no evidence to that fact," True said in a telephone interview.
Rep. Mark Kirk's sexual orientation questioned in GOP opponent's ad

True was being truthful. Technically he did not call Kirk a homosexual. What True said was ...

It's more or less an open secret in Lake County that Mark [Kirk] has surrounded himself with people that have I guess they call it now a special orientation but we all know what that means.
Should we sell out our principles for Obama-lite Republicans?

Despite True's protestation, Martin's ad is still pretty close to what True actually did say.

Your LakeCountyEye is nothing if not an aficionado of finely parsed weasel words. So if there is a loophole big enough for True to wriggle through, it has to be the phrase special orientation.

Let's admit that Kirk does in fact surround himself with people of a special orientation. But, contra True, not everyone knows what that phrase -- special orientation -- means. At least not your LakeCountyEye. It is not obvious that special orientation means homosexual. Especially not after consulting the Googels -- which delivers a variety of special orientation hits. A random sampling:

"10:00AM Advance At Work Special Orientation (by appt)"
Workforce QUEENS Career Center

Here a special orientation is being held for job seekers.

"Special Orientation Control of the Thrust Vector in Optimization Problems of Rocket Dynamics"
Russian Academy of Science: MAIK Nauka/Interperiodica

Something to do with the special orientation of rocket scientists?

"To specify a special orientation of an aperture, slit, aperture pair, etc."
Space Telescope Science Institute

Telescopes need special orientation too!

"Special orientation for cross-institutional students"
University of Queensland

It's anyone's guess what the Ozzies are ever talking about.

"No special orientation other than the fruit lying flat was required."
An algorithm for distinguishing apples from bananas

It is good to know that fruit do not require any special orientation.

"you can attend a special orientation designed for GLBT tourists"
Gay Paris in Summertime

This one speaks for itself.

As is plainly evident, the phrase special orientation is some coded buzzword that can mean just about anything to anyone. For all your LakeCountyEye knows, Raymond True has a special orientation for sticking his foot in his mouth. We all know what that means.