Sunday, November 17, 2024

When Comedy was King

Provided there is such a thing, your LakeCountyEye's eyeteeth were cut on the Saturday morning cartoons. Who amongst you wasn't glued to the set early every weekend, laughing at the outrageous antics of your favorite cartoon buffoons?

The cartoon buffoon, like the animated cartoon, is an only-in-America invention. He has been in circulation since from back when a five cent exploding cigar cost only a nickel.

To celebrate the cartoon buffoon, your LakeCountyEye has tracked his evolutionary history:

Wellington J Wimpy


Elmer J Fudd


Bullwinkle J Moose


Homer J Simpson


Stimpson J Cat


Sheldon J Plankton


Donald J Trump
Now, that's entertainment!

Tuesday, November 12, 2024

The Profit is Not Honored in its Own County

KER-CHING
All those FEMA conspiracy theories are true! The red hurricane tsunami of 2024 flushed a boatload of Lake County Republican candidates into office -- and it was fueled by dollars from Lake County moneybags, Richard Uihlein.

HaHa, j/k. Every Lake County incumbent was re-elected. And all that Uihlein cash went south into DuPage County:
Doug Truax has nurtured small, politically conservative groups based in west suburban Downers Grove into a sprawling empire of organizations pushing far right agendas and election denialism — buoyed by contributions of more than $150 million from Illinois' Richard Uihlein, one of the country's biggest Republican donors.
Powerful suburban Chicago political operation fueled by Uihlein money spends millions on far right causes
Was any of that money spent on Lake County Republican candidates? Nobody knows. One thing is certain, if any Uihlein greenbacks found their way into the pocket of a Lake County GOP candidate, it didn't help. And if, on the other hand, Uihlein stiffed all his home-team candidates, they can take heart knowing that the money was spent somewhere else where it might do some good.

Note to Ops: 2026 is only 2 years from now.

Thursday, November 7, 2024

E Pluribus Doom

With the big election in the rear view mirror, everybody suddenly finds themselves with nothing to do. Fret not, this is your perfect opportunity to sign up for the new LakeCountyEye MasterClass™.

This LakeCountyEye MasterClass™ will show you how to draw in the style of the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ ...

First retrieve an old copy of MAD Magazine from your vault.

Open the hilarious MAD Fold-In page:
Then fold it in:
And voila, you have for yourself an instant Creepy Tribune Cartoonist drawing:
Fun fact: Ben Franklin thought the national bird should be a turkey. Franklin was clearly 250 years ahead of his time.

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Who's Next?

There is only one or two hundred million dollars left between now and election day. And the one question on everyone's lips is: "Who will accurately predict who will win the presidential election?"

Prognostication, to be sure, is as much an art as a science. A good oracle will know all the polls, and have their finger on the pulse of the voters, and will be plugged into the Zeitgeist.

All of which explains why your LakeCountyEye asked the A.I. chatbot for the answers instead.

You won't have to stay up late, waiting for election results on Tuesday night. The chatbot has generated a deepfake video that anyone can watch right now:

FRAUD AT POLLS
Note to Ops: Rosebud.

Monday, October 28, 2024

The Electoral Collage

The election to end all elections is approaching. That day of reckoning will be arriving before you know it -- you cannot afford to procrastinate.

Of course your LakeCountyEye refers to the 2025 Illinois municipal election:
The first day to file your 2025 nominating petitions is November 12; the last day is November 18. At stake will be Township, Municipal, Park District, Library District, School District, and Fire District seats.

In related news, it has been reported that there also will be a general election next week. Reliable sources say the election will be held on November 5. If so, please make some plans to vote.

Friday, October 18, 2024

Some Big Bucks

Perhaps in lockstep with Vladimir Putin, the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ doggedly pursues his war of attrition against the African black rhinoceros:
Does the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ harbor some secret animosity toward critically endangered African megafauna? Or is this just a manifestation of a bankrupt imagination with an infusion of some lazy cartooning?

For the record, the national debt increased nearly $8 trillion during the Trump years:
And the elephant is still an endangered species. Just sayin!

Sunday, October 13, 2024

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

Confused? Well this may explain the funny numbers: The Lake County Gazette has also reported that 556 Lake County students failed the math portion of their SAT exams:
Making Up the Grade
There is good news. Of those 556 students, no fewer than 1140 have been accepted to law school.

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Making Up the Grade

Boy oh boy, Lake County students are a bunch of knuckleheads. How unintelligent are they? Lake County students are so unintelligent they even fail their IQ tests!

Impossible you say? Because IQ tests (like, say, the SAT exam) measure aptitude, and concepts like pass and fail do not apply. Well, not according to the Lake County Gazette:
It goes without saying that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source. All of the content in the Lake County Gazette comes direct from Russian troll farms, and delivered fresh to your table every day.

In America you take the SAT exam. In Russia, the SAT exam takes Ukraine!

Friday, October 4, 2024

Secret Organization

He may be yesterday's news, but the facts have not changed: Mark Robinson (the self-described black Nazi perv) had been invited to speak in Lake County by the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization:
Controversial North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson has pulled the plug on a much-criticized speaking appearance at a GOP fundraiser, according to the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization's website.
Robinson won't speak at local GOP event amid latest firestorm
And yet one disturbing question remains, still unanswered:
What could possibly be the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization?
Does anyone know? To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked the man-in-the-street:


"It's like one of those things you read about in The Onion."

Sally Kavity, Unemployed Suburban Mom

"Obviously not a scam PAC."

Shaw Marx, Malingerer

"Parlez-vous français?"

Brian Keith, Haitian Immigrant

 


They're unanimous -- nobody knows what the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization is.

Vox populi, vox Dei.

Monday, September 30, 2024

Next of Quinn

When Martin McLaughlin uses the words career politician he means them as an insult. This from McLaughlin's website ...
Who is Martin McLaughlin? McLaughlin is ... wait for it ... another career politician. This from McLaughlin's Wikipedia page:
Note to Ops: Someone who's been in politics as long as Martin McLaughlin is going to know all the tricks of the trade.

Thursday, September 26, 2024

Office Copy

Note to Ops: Have you been moping and are all like ...
"It's late September and I really should be back at school my LakeCountyEye MasterClass™"?
If you have, well brood no longer. In this semester of the LakeCountyEye MasterClass™ you will learn how to draw in the style of the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™:

Go to the IMDb and download a still from the classic motion picture The Apartment:

Put some tracing paper over the image:
Trace the outline of a few desks, then add Jack Lemmon:

And voila, anybody, even you, can be a political cartoonist!

Sunday, September 22, 2024

Where have you gone, Mr Robinson?

Did you hear the one about the exhibitionist who was a no-show at the local GOP fundraiser? HaHa, hang up your raincoats, the GOP black Nazi perv guy will not be coming to Lake County:
Controversial North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson has pulled the plug on a much-criticized speaking appearance at a GOP fundraiser, according to the Tenth Congressional District Republican Organization's website.
Amid pushback, controversial nominee for NC governor Mark Robinson cancels appearance at North Shore GOP fundraiser
Tickets however for the fundraiser are still available, either stag or with a date:
It is not known if that is cash-only.

Friday, September 20, 2024

What's that you say, Mr Robinson?

Note to Ops: Pop open the lubricant. Here is your chance to rub elbows with the black Nazi guy:

Who is the black Nazi guy? He is also known as the slavery is good guy. Or as the Nude Africa guy. Or as the I just wanna see the sex tape guy.

Whoever he is, he will be headlining a fundraiser for some local GOP organizations. If you attend, don't neglect to pay some respect to your host, Mark Shaw Who is also known as the couldn't happen to a nicer guy.