Happy Days are Here Again

The 2026 election is dead and buried and the post-mortem is in: the GOP lost. And it's the Chair of the Illinois Republican Party who knows what needs to be done:

"What we need to be competitive on a statewide level is someone who can actually speak suburban cocktail party language"
'Suburban cocktail party language': Illinois GOP chair says better messaging needed to win back voters

In other words, the GOP lost because these ain't the 1950s any more.

So how do you resurrect a legendary decade when there was so much winning all for the GOP? It's quite easy. You just have to speak the lingo, i.e. suburban cocktail party language.

Here's your ace in the hole, ten time-bombs to drop in conversation that will help you present like a time-traveler from the 1950s:

10 Sure-Fire Tells to Suburban Cocktail Party Language

Rob Roys Whiskey Sours Tiparillos Chex Mix Mack the Knife Old Golds Fedoras Come On-a My House Jell-O Molds Ring-a-Ding-Ding

Look for your LakeCountyEye at a Chicken Delight near you.

You Can't Spell Referendum Without DUM

No big whoop, a Lake County sales-tax referendum failed on Tuesday. It failed because Donald Trump was on top of the ballot, and everything Donald Trump touches turns into Cheesecake-Factory Gold.

There are two circumstances where a ballot referendum can succeed. Either it already has popular support. Or it was smuggled on the ballot with an aim to drive up turnout. The sales-tax referendum had neither. The referendum was automatically triggered by a 2007 state law (SB0835 - 95th General Assembly) and by compliance resolutions passed by Lake County local school boards.

No eminence less than the chairman of the Illinois Republican Party pins the loss on President Trump. Bob Grogan ...

sees silver linings in many local referendum results, like in Lake County, where voters rejected a proposed 1% sales tax to fund schools
'Suburban cocktail party language': Illinois GOP chair says better messaging needed to win back voters

One knowledgeable political scientist explained it this way: "Everyone knows that the Trump Tariffs are sales taxes, and everyone is fed up with all the sales taxes. I'm surprised the referendum did as well as it did."

You Can't Spell GOP Wthout K.O.

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there was an election on Tuesday. Who won?

HaHa. That giant hissing sound you hear is all of the steam leaking out of the MAGA bloc at the wheel of the Lake County Republican Party. HaHa, j/k. Actually they are letting the air out of the tires from a truck under the Long Grove Bridge:

78 or 87? Long Grove bridge hit again

Every^* GOP office-holder lost their seat in Lake County. So expect to see a spike in the unemployment numbers there. Lake County GOP voters must be like their car keys, because the Republican candidates couldn't find them.

To be sure, it will be a rebuilding year for the Lake County GOP. Their chairwoman had this to say:

Attempts to reach Lake County Republican Central Committee Chair Dawn Abernathy were unsuccessful.
Democrats poised to take control of Lake County Board 17-2: 'A historic win'

In the GOP chairwoman's defense, cell service in Long Grove may be bad:

Note to Ops: Be sure to buckle up.

---

* Within the margin of error.

No Certain Midterms

Is it a coincidence that Donald J Trump is the only US President since James Monroe to wear a powdered wig? Thump's efforts ...

to rename the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario, acquire Canada, the Panama Canal, and Greenland, as well as pursuing military action against Venezuela have all been cited as part of a Trump corollary to the Monroe Doctrine.
Donroe Doctrine

Like literally every Republican in Lake County, Donald Trump will not be on the 2026 Election ballot. But one Lake County GOP candidate you can vote for is Carl Lambrecht -- who coincidentally has his own connection to James Monroe. At 93 years of age Lambrecht would have been eligible to vote for Monroe:

Where's Carl Lambrecht?

Lambrecht perhaps set some record by qualifying for the ballot with just one petition signature. Whether this is characteristic of an over-achiever or an under-achiever remains an open question. One thing is certain -- Lambrecht can count on receiving at least one vote on election day:

That election day is November 3, 2026.

From 6am to 7pm.

Next Tuesday.

Where's the Party?

Ask your AI Assistant to put on their thinking cap; it's time for your Election 2026 pop quiz:

Q: What is the difference between Donald J Trump and a scary Jack O'Lantern?

A: Not every Jack O'Lantern is orange.

HaHa. Did you know that there are no Republican candidates on the ballot in Lake County? Strange but true. Apparently someone did not get the memo that there will be an election in November. Note to Ops in the Lake County GOP: Check your SPAM folders!

All is not lost, however. Despite being a lame-duck, Donald Trump will still be on the ballot in all 50 states. Dictatorial control over the Federal Election Commission has its perks.

So this may be your last chance to get to the polls and let President Trump know exactly how you feel. What are you waiting for?

The Red (Ink) Darren

Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

HaHa. Perennial candidate Darren Bailey is at it again. He is running for governor. Richard Uihlein is at it again as well. He is backing Darren Bailey's campaign. But this time with an asterisk:

Conservative megadonor Richard Uihlein, who put more than $50 million behind Bailey's unsuccessful 2022 campaign, has given the downstate farmer and former Republican state lawmaker a token $6,900 this time
Democrats lead fundraising in Illinois and federal races as megadonors fail to materialize for Darren Bailey

The message being sent by Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein is crystal clear: Go pound sand.

For the record, $6900 will buy you more than 900 sandbags:

The consensus is the Bailey campaign must be taking on water. Because it got itself sandbagged.

Hi-Diddly-Ditka

The Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ made this tribute to Da Coach, Mike Ditka:

Being a political cartoonist is much easier than it looks. No artistic talent needed. You just don't want to  get caught stealing somebody else's intellectual property rights.

So, seed your AI image generator with some well-known cartoon character:

And then iterate through a few recursions until you get a likeness of Mike Ditka that you like:

Ned Flanders?	OR	Da Coach?
Grin and Bear it. You've been sacked by another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision®!

Stupid artificial intelligence.

2026 Bonfire & Brews: Rescheduled

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee (21+)

You're Gonna Need a Smaller Truck

If you have received your 2026 election ballot in the mail, then it has come to your attention that there is an election coming up. Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye.

Think twice, however, before dropping that ballot in the mail. The Trump White House has ordered all US Postal Service trucks carrying mail-in ballots to drive under the Long Grove bridge; where they will be stuck until after the election.

HaHa, j/k. Of course, that doesn't mean there isn't somebody's truck stuck under the Long Grove bridge, at this very moment:

The Long Grove covered bridge remains a magnet for box-truck drivers
The hits keep coming: Long Grove bridge struck for 77th time since 2020

A spokesman for the US Dept of Transportation said: "With gas over 5 bucks a gallon, a person could do worst than being stuck under the Long Grove bridge."

The Great Boo Quest

Gurnee Park District: The Great Boo Quest

Hire Ed

You go to school to learn the three Rs. But if one of those Rs is School Referendum, you go to EO Sullivan Consulting.

Lake County GOP favorite son EO Sullivan is in the news. Rightwing grassroots astroturf pressure group Americans for Prosperity-Illinois filed an ethics complaint against Northwest Suburban High School District 214 ...

questioning the district's use of public resources for alleged referendum polling, voter surveying and campaign-related activity, as well as its contract with firm EO Sullivan Consulting.
Ethics probe clears District 214 for pre-referendum polling, but critic calls it 'unwritten loophole'

Were the EO Sullivan Consulting phone surveys conducted for the school district a violation of the state ethics act? A law firm hired by the school district to review the complaint says no. Nevertheless, Americans for Prosperity-Illinois do not desire to be made monkeys of. And have escalated their complaint to ...

further review by Cook County State's Attorney Eileen O'Neill Burke and a formal opinion from Illinois Attorney General Kwame Raoul.
Ethics probe clears District 214 for pre-referendum polling, but critic calls it 'unwritten loophole'

One political scientist told your LakeCountyEye: "I don't know why they went to all the trouble with filing an ethics complaint, just to stop a school referendum. The White House is going to send federal agents to all of the polling places, anyways. To arrest anyone who tries to vote in November."

Double Trouble

Has the cost of gasoline made it too expensive even to drive the kids to soccer practice? The US Dept of Transportation has some helpful advice for you: Take the train instead.

HaHa. Gas and diesel prices are at record highs. So high, it is now too expensive to transport oil by rail behind a diesel locomotive.

HaHa, j/k. There are plenty of oil cars moving in and out of Lake County. And there may be plenty more to come. It is believed that Canadian National Railway wants to build a second track in Lake County:

rail experts say, this second track could mean dozens of additional Canadian National and Union Pacific freight trains rolling each day
From the Chicago suburbs to short line railroad companies, proposed merger heightens concerns

One industry spokesman said: "We absolutely need to double-track the lines. What happens when an oil car explodes? Then how are we supposed to move the freight without an extra track?"

Fall Movie Night in the Park (FREE)

Fall Movie Night in the Park (FREE)

Where in the Hill?

Is Martin McLaughlin taken? One would assume not, judging by the number of ladies who are lined up to espouse him.

Perfunctory GOP State Rep Martin McLaughlin got the support of some women in leadership:

Of course, don't go looking in Lake County for any Republicans in leadership, because these are scarcer than free-range roosters on a Chick-fil-A menu. Worse yet, GOP women leaders are scarcer than hen's teeth. Consequently, McLaughlin's leader-board is filled with a handful of Village Presidents, plus a State's Attorney, a Village Trustee, a Township Trustee, a former Village President, a former Village Trustee, a Township GOP President, and a business owner.

Despite McLaughlin being in the Illinois legislature, you don't see are any State Reps or Senators here. In particular, no State Senator Darby Hills. Someone who would absolutely qualify as a woman in leadership. If Martin McLaughlin's women in leadership were a club, that would be the elephant in the room.

2026 Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee (21+)