Aim Low and You Won't be Disappointed

Good news, everyone. The McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™ is back.

The McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™ has shot himself in the foot. All the while in McHenry County:

A 64-year-old man was taken to the hospital after he accidentally shot himself in the leg in Marengo, officials said.
Man shoots himself in leg at Marengo gun range

The Department of Homeland Security is looking for the McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™. A spokesman for the agency said: "We need men like him who know how to handle a firearm. If he contacts us, there is an ICE badge with his name on it waiting for him."

Red-Ink Candidate

Lake County GOP favorite son Joe Severino wants to be your Governor and filed papers to get on the 2026 Primary ballot:

Those aren't the only papers that Severino recently filed. Joe Severino also filed for bankruptcy:

Joseph Severino (22-00769)
United States Bankruptcy Court, N.D. Illinois

With SNAP benefits ending in Lake County, 71,000 may go hungry -- and one of those could very well be a bankrupt Joe Severino:

SNAP lapse could impact 71,000 in Lake County: 'People will go hungry'

You have the power to prevent Joe Severino from going hungry by donating to his Gubernatorial campaign:

Any money donated could help keep a Severino campaign office well stocked with pizza and diet sodas, and plenty of it!

Note to Ops: If your taste is more along the line of caviar and champagne, go for it. It's still completely legal.

Scheming Video

Thanksgiving always comes in November. Do you know why? Because that's when candidates send out urgent notes of thanks for giving to their campaigns. And can you spare a couple extra bucks before the election?

Lake County GOP favorite-son Joe Severino is a candidate for Governor. And he has a website that makes it easy to donate to his campaign:

Severino benefited from a donation by a rando who clicked the $50,000 button:

It goes without saying $50,000 buys your campaign a lot of AI fake videos. James Mendrick, Sheriff of Dupage County and candidate for Illinois Governor, said ...

Joe Severino attempted to contract an IT company to construct an AI video of the Sheriff smoking crystal meth with a 14 year old teenage girl in an effort to discredit the Sheriff and his campaign for Governor
Joe Severino, Candidate For Illinois Governor Accused Of Creating False AI To Discredit the Dupage County Sheriff

Your LakeCountyEye predicts that Joe Severino will pocket all of the Trump vote.

Petitio Potpourri

Can you name the season? The signature of this season is to be on the lookout for little characters who are not what they appear to be. If you answered Halloween, good guess but you are incorrect. The correct answer is the season for checking your opponent's ballot petitions for fake signatures.

Yep, tis the season to submit your candidacy petitions for the 2026 Primary Election. Make no mistake, the opposition is looking at your petitions right now. Are all of your signatures valid and from citizens registered to vote? Your MAGA opponent will not hesitate to show your petition to the nearest ICE agent. Those are your voters on that petition and they can't vote for you if they wind up "detained" inside an ICE lockup.

And it goes without saying, neatness counts. You don't want to submit petitions on office supplies pilfered from the public library. Settle for nothing less than the best:

Then all that's left is to show your receipts when you ask Lake County GOP moneybags Richard Uihlein for that campaign donation!

In Self-Serving Defense

Lake County GOP favorite step-son Tedora M Brown is a candidate for Lake County 11th Congressional District. Typical of many GOP candidates, Brown is under Federal indictment:

Brown and husband Christopher Scott fraudulently obtained at least $742,000 in small business loans and grants from the federal government for businesses that didn't exist or weren't operating, prosecutors alleged after their indictments in 2023.
GOP congressional candidate facing wire fraud charges vows to fight case at trial

Brown is advancing a tried-and-true GOP criminal defense -- one that claims she faces a sham indictment by politically motivated enemies:

"They came after me because I'm a Republican and I'm an American Black woman," Brown said. "If I was guilty, why would I run for Congress? Why would I put myself in the limelight?"
GOP congressional candidate facing wire fraud charges vows to fight case at trial

Are the charges against Tedora M Brown fake and fabricated? You decide:

Tedora M Brown		Donald J Trump
Republican		Republican
American		American
Black		Black
Woman		Woman

The Tedora M Brown prosecution certainly checks all of the boxes. Witch hunt!

Seersucker Punch

An actual unretouched screencap from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:

Backbench State Rep Martin McLaughlin demonstrates it is never too early to show off your trick-or-treat costume:

It's showtime for another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision®

Note to Ops: ICE agents are in Lake County and they are detaining fashionistas. Be warned.

Blow a Kiss

The Question of the Day will test your knowledge of current affairs:

Q: The White House recently changed the Federal campaign finance rules. What is the new legal limit on campaign donations?

A: $50,000 in a brown paper bag.

Lake County GOP favorite step-son Aaron Del Mar knows a thing or two about where to go for campaign cash:

On the Republican side, if you want a prayer to win in Illinois, you'd better make your homage to Lake Forest and kiss the ring of Dick Uihlein to get that money.
🎙️ Lake Forest Podcast: 🗳️ Aaron Del Mar, 🚨 GOP Drama & 💰 Campaign Grift!

Furthermore, perennial candidate Aaron Del Mar is perennial candidating again, this time with perennial gubernatorial candidate, Darren Bailey:

Former gubernatorial candidate and staunch conservative Darren Bailey launched a repeat campaign Thursday and once again chose a suburban running mate. The downstate Republican farmer and former state senator's pick for lieutenant governor — Cook County Republican Party Chairman Aaron Del Mar of Palatine — makes for a marked contrast.
Bailey jumps into the governor's race for a second time with Palatine's Del Mar

It would seem natural that Del Mar would make the pilgrimage to kiss the ring of Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein:

After giving millions of dollars to Republican gubernatorial candidate Darren Bailey's unsuccessful 2022 campaign, megadonor Richard Uihlein of Lake Forest is backing a different candidate in the 2026 contest. Late last month, Uihlein donated $250,000 to Wilmette Republican Ted Dabrowski's campaign
After spending millions on Bailey in 2022, GOP megadonor Uihlein backs Dabrowski for governor

Note to Ops: You may need to kiss more than just the ring.

The Lord of the Ring

The Question of the Day is taken from the 2011 entrance exam to Trump University:

Q: Where's the money?

According to Lake County GOP favorite step-son Aaron Del Mar, the answer is Lake County GOP moneybags Richard Uihlein:

On the Republican side, if you want a prayer to win in Illinois, you'd better make your homage to Lake Forest and kiss the ring of Dick Uihlein to get that money.
🎙️ Lake Forest Podcast: 🗳️ Aaron Del Mar, 🚨 GOP Drama & 💰 Campaign Grift!

Of course, Aaron Del Mar is being sarcastic, you don't literally need to kiss a ring. If you want some of that campaign cash all you you need, instead, is to read the signs:

Note to Ops: $17 plus shipping and handling.

Halloween Fall Fest

Halloween Fall Fest

Non-Representational Art

Note to Ops: Now that the White House has shut down the government so it can cancel the 2026 mid-term election, and suddenly you have nothing to do, why not take the opportunity to sign up for the new LakeCountyEye MasterClass™?

This week's LakeCountyEye MasterClass™ will show you how to draw in the style of the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™.

It's easy peasy, once you realize there are a profusion of AI text-to-image ChatBots on the web that will sketch all the artwork for you. First go online to your favorite Artificial Intelligence Image Generator.

Then, in the input box type in ...

Then, Click the launch button. And Bob's your uncle, even you can draw a picture like the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™:


Gerrymandering

What the heck is that? Nobody knows.

Did you remember to check the

No AI Hallucinations, Please.

... CheckBox?

Your LakeCountyEye bets not!

Roger That

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there will be a US Senate election in Illinois. Who knew? It is also unknown, as of yet, who will be running for Senate. The Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) acknowledges one candidate -- however only by his first name, Roger:

Who is Roger? Nobody knows, certainly not your LakeCountyEye.

But Sharpeyed Operatives tell your LakeCountyEye that the Roger in question is in actuality Roger Christian Murphy.

In your LakeCountyEye's opinion, Roger Christian Murphy is simply a great ballot name.

Will Illinoisans be getting their very own Senator Murphy? Time will tell!

I Don't Care What the Newspapers Say about Me as Long as They Spell My Name Right

Darren Bailey and Aaron Del Mar may be the first rhyming couplet running for Governor of Illinois. That could explain how Aaron Del Mar got himself quoted in the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source).

Who will win the race for Illinois Comptroller in 2026? Del Mar has his eye on one candidate:

Who is Kroger Representative Coker? The Lake County Gazette's Russian-built AI ChatBot is no doubt on the fritz, and bollixed up the transcript. Kroger Representative Coker, quite obviously, is the Coca-Cola bottling distributor assigned to your nearest Kroger grocery store.

Moving on to US Senate, Del Mar has his eye on Roger:

Who is Roger? Without question, Aaron Del Mar has a certain alien in mind ...

Note to Ops: Make America great again.

The Pink Peter Strikes Again

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

Palatine GOP doyenne Aaron Del Mar spilled the tea on how to win an election in Illinois. And Del Mar should know, because he knows people from New Page County as well as people from all across Saginaw County:

Aaron Del Mar knows how to win in Illinois because he has the receipts. And the names on those receipts are Bruce Rauner, Dan Rutherford, Judy Barker, Pink Peter:

Rest assured, you are not looking at the names of just any Tom, Dick or Hairy!

For the record, Del Mar is the running mate of Illinois gubernatorial candidate Beetle Bailey.

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee

Bonfire & Brews: A Taste of Gurnee (21+)

Unsolicited ICE

ICE agents billeted at North Chicago have been sent to Milwaukee to raid the Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, your LakeCountyEye has learned. The agents are instructed to deport "Potawatomi Indians without proper documentation".

HaHa, in other gambling news, it is full steam ahead for the American Place casino in Waukegan:

The announcement that the coming construction of a permanent casino in Waukegan is now a sure bet was a dream come true for civic boosters and gamblers.
Column: Out with The Temporary, in with American Place

Your LakeCountyEye has also learned that ICE agents will be stationed in the new casino, at the baccarat table. Their assignment will be to apprehend any Bond villains that enter the country illegally.

Note to Ops: Spotting an ICE agent at the casino will be relatively easy. He will be wearing a tuxedo.